Hohoho.

I'm moving again! Don't bother with the search. :)

When you don't feel like working,

You printscreen your desktop and post it on your blog.

Nothing in Everything makes Anything out of Something

Heal my heart and make it clean,
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like You have loved me.

Break my heart for whats breaks Yours,
Everything i am for Your Kingdom's cause
As i walk from earth into eternity.

~

Work has been better, handling stress better, managing my time better, understanding things better. Better.

I want to move on, and get better - I wanna learn more. Learn as much as i can.

I thank God for protection, wisdom, and everything else - good and bad. I thank God for strength, i thank God for joy, and peace at work. I thank God for a loving family, for a dad who insists that my hair must be totally dry before i go to bed, for a brother who reminds me i'm home earlier than usual by saying, "Ay! So early! its not even 10!" - causing me to be thankful for efficiency at work.

I miss everyone - Gavin, Aaron, Nat, Gek, Xuan, Debbie ++++++

VERK

My days have been filled with work and more work.

I lost 2Kg in one week. Which is pretty drastic, considering i went to Vietnam for 3 months, and lost 1 Kg.

haha.

Work has been overwhelming, but no, i'm not gonna resign.

Last week, i worked till 1am-2am in the morning - everyday. It was horrible. As much as fatigue can be accumulated, the fatigue goes away because of the adrenaline you get during work. But the adrenaline actually makes your body work harder - until you finally stop (which is around 2am for me.) By that time - nothing else matters. I sleep at 2+, and wake at 5.30am - and get back to be pumped with adrenaline.


I find that even though work has been tough and tough, i have never considered resigning. Despite the many many "Resign la! So not worth it!" comments which i am getting sick of. It doensn't make me feel any better. I'd Shush you right out if i had worse manners.

Thank you for your concern, but i'd rather you be supportive and encourage me to be strong.

It seems the only person who's supportive is my dad.

He says that i work like he did when he was younger - (and that's true. my personality's more like my dad.) thats why he understands why i stay back so late (many people don't.). Papa tells me to work hard, and assures me that i will see the fruits of my labour. Papa makes me a cuppa Ginseng Drink that i drink every morning before going to work. Papa comforts me by telling me to keep up the good work.

The other day he smsed me, "Waaaah. It seems like i've not seen my daughter for a few years." which i found very funny.

Thank you Papa <3


And Lord, i pray You give me strength. Give me the patience to handle the bothersome Customer Sales Reps. Give me the strength and intelligence to deal with the problems that my people don't know how to solve. Help me to be a joy at work - I want to glorify You. Use me Lord, for your purposes. May my words be pure and clean, may my actions be gracious and pleasing. Lord, lead me in Your ways. Amen. :)

Leaving, on a jet plane

And you're leaving. I'm gonna miss you so much, so so much.


I'll see you when you get back, SGLJ.



Love always,

Gen

Backspace

I miss you :" (

You. Just like i did to someone else, i deleted you.

It's probably my way of escaping. Escaping from the temptation to contact you.

Thats why, i delete. Delete. Delete. Delete.

I backspaced you.

Go away.

For my 20th Birthday.

Its not even near.

But i already know what i want.

The Complete Series of INDIANA JONES.

I thank Mummy and Papa for introducing Indiana Jones to me when i was young <3

Cakes

If my life was a chocolate cake, these people would be the Fudge.

Atheists and Faith.

Thank you Ev, for the Rejuvenation :) I love and miss you. Thank you for the card (you gave on grad day.), really sweet gesture. -ALL HAIL LIG Main Comm!-

I went to church today, and i didn't really understand the message. Although i do agree with one theory that Pastor Khong talked about.

He said,

If a man says, "I believe that there's no God in the world", then i'll salute him and say, "You're a man of great faith!".

Why so? you ask.

The bible says that every Christian must have Faith. Faith is the belief, hope for or having complete trust for something without proof.

Everyone has faith, its like - you board a bus, you see a seat, and you sit down. Would you check the quality of materials used to build the bus? Would you question the bus driver to make sure the bus is well maintained? Would you open up the seats to see if there are cockroaches inside? Would you test the maximum weight the seat can withstand before sitting down?

No. Because you have faith, you believe that the bus is functioning well. You trust that the seat will not break when you sit. Faith.

Can you prove that the seat won't break before you sit down on it? No. Can you ensure that the bus will not explode somewhere on the roads? No. But do you board it? Yes. Do you sit on the seat? Yes. Faith.


Well then, back to my original statement. Why is an Atheist a man of great faith? If he claims that he believes that there is no God in this world, then he must have searched EVERY SINGLE corner of this earth - the entire Universe, the many many many galaxies, every planet, every star - before he can conclude that there is no God. Because otherwise, the statement that says "There is no God." is totally based on faith - because where and how, can he gather the evidence to prove that there is no God? Is it possible to search every single corner of this earth? No. Is it possible to be on every planet? In every galaxy? On every star? No. Therefore, the belief that there is no God is purely based on Faith - Complete, Utter, Bold - Faith.

And the irony of it all - Christianity, is all about Faith.

The day i died at work

Yesterday, i died at work.

I died because:

- I missed the LIG main comm dinner.
- Everyone at work was frustrated and tired.
- Repeatedly scanning 198 cartons is NOT GOOD AT ALL.
- Manual reconciliation of SO MANY CARTONS IS EXASPERATING
- My legs were aching because i had to stand for a few hours.
- I didn't have dinner.
- I worked non-stop until 10.45pm.
- Having 6 Managers and Senior Managers watch you type is NOT FUN.
- Some people at work have VERY BAD ATTITUDES.
- Repeated IT Problems is hair-pullingly and table-smashingly annoying.



And thats how i died.


I was so tired, i fell asleep whilst talking on the phone. 宝剑！ 对不起 ：（

GRAH-DOO-AY-SEE-OHN

All in a Noot-shell

So much has happened.

Graduation was wonderful. I thank my brother for coming. At first i was still thinking, maybe it would be better if he didn't go - its so inconvenient for him to travel so far, and it would be a boring ceremony for him.

Then after the ceremony was over, i was glad that i had family with me :)

So, Thank you Kor <3

Anyway, after Graduation and TONS of photo-taking. We (Gavin, Aaron, Gek, Nat and Myself.) met for dinner at La Mei Zi - MA LA HOTPOT!

It was time well spent. :) We ate and ate and ate. and drank. and wiped. (wiped off perspiration from our brow). It was wonderful. I enjoyed myself. After that we headed next door to HK Cafe to indulge in some REALLY good Milk Tea and Coffee and Bolo Buns. <3 Lovely.

Graduation has left me feeling accomplished but a little bit scared. Scared of the future, scared of leaving my comfort zone, scared that I won't be in contact with my Polymates. But i'm sure the Good Lord sees my fears, and He knows my fears. :)

Yesterday (at work), we were supposed to prepare for a physical simulation of the entire process flow (Information, Goods, and Documents) for the new warehouse. The Customer was supposed to arrive at 4, but they only came at 4.30pm. We dragged on and on and on till 7.45pm. Yes, OT.

And as i was playing with the system, there were SOO many errors - my goodness. NOT ACCEPTABLE. Especially when you're demonstrating to your customers. Tsk tsk tsk. So worrisome.

And then the IT dept keep promising the customer everything will be done by today. by today. by today. And today we're only working half day. WHERE ARE WE GONNA FIND TIME.

>.<

Boredom

1. Were you named after anyone?

Nope, not that i know of - anyway.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Probably a few days ago at office. I laughed too hard.

3. Do you like your handwriting?

I like it better when i'm using pens i like :)

4. What is your favorite lunch meat?

Chicken? Pork?

5. Do you have kids?

No. But i've thought of names :D

6. If you were another person would you be friends with you?

I think so. :D I'm nice you know.

7. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Depends on the situation. I'm usually sarcastic when i'm pissed.

8. Do you still have your tonsils?

Yes i do.

9. Would you bungee jump?

Most definitely.

10. What is your favorite cereal?

The current one that i'm eating. It comes with Oat-clumps, and dried up strawberries that are so sour they wake you up. Serves its purpose as a breakfast cereal.

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Nah.

12. Do you think you're strong?

Physically - no. Mentally - no. Emotionally - no. So, no.

13. What is your favorite ice cream?

Coffee - Always Coffee.

14. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Hair.

15. Red or pink?

Yellow :)

16. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?

My... lack of strength - Refer to question 12.

17. Who do you miss the most?

My Mum. And... some other people.

18. Do you want everyone to send this back to you?

No preference.

19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing?

White FBTs which have turned greyish purple. and. Bedroom slippers.

20. What was the last thing you ate?

Satay Beehoon.

21. What are you listening to right now?

The tiktik taktaks from my keyboard when i type.

22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Yellow. or Orange.

23. Favorite smells?

Ah, thats a secret :)

24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

Papa.

25. Do you like the person who sent this to you?

She's a naughty girl :D

26. Favorite sports to watch?

I prefer Crime and Investigative shows.

27. Eye color?

Black - i think.

28. Hair color?

Black. - i think.

29. Do you wear contacts?

Yes. And i rinse them with Solo Care Aqua.

30. Favorite food?

Coffee flavoured stuff.

31. Scary movies or happy endings?

Depends on the occasion, usually after Exams i'd go for a scary movie. Otherwise, Happy Endings :)

32. Last movie you watched?

Over her dead body.

33.What color shirt are you wearing?

Holey and White.

34. Summer or winter?

Winter. Always.

36. Favorite dessert?

Dau Suan. XD

37. What book are you reading now?

James Patterson's 6th Target.

40. What is on your mouse pad?

Common sense would say - The Mouse?. but. i don't have a mousepad.

41. What did you watch on TV last night?

Something to do with... Animal Planet. or, the History Channel.

43. Rolling Stones or Beatles?

Yanni.

44. What is the farthest you have been from home?

China, if i'm not wrong.

45. Do you have a special talent?

I do :) just haven't discovered it yet.

46. Where were you born?

Mount Elizabeth.

47. Whose answers are you looking forward to getting back?

Lemme think.

To express my gratitude and love :

Misheard Lyrics :D

Sometimes Misheard Lyrics are the funniest things.

I've had my share of them.

As i was sharing with Gek and Aaron last night during dinner, i'm currently hooked on the song "No One" by Alicia Keys, which they totally dissed me for being outdated and everything. Who cares.

Anyway, when i first heard the song I was extremely puzzled.

I THOUGHT Alicia Keys sang:

"I just washed your clothes,
So you can stay forever."

Then i realised (after a few hearings), She meant:

"I just want you close,
Where you can stay forever."

And i laughed for a little bit. Then i remembered the other Lyrics i misheard - "Ghost of Me and You" By BB Mak.

I THOUGHT, there was a line in the chorus that was weird.

"It isn't love, it's rubbery.
I'm sleeping with the Ghost of you and me."

WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD LOVE BE MISTAKEN TO BE RUBBERY.

Then i went online to check. Revelation.

"It isn't love, it's robbery.
I'm sleeping with the Ghost of you and me."



Hehehehehe.


I invite anyone reading this silly post to think of your own misheard lyrics. And laugh :D

I love the rain the most

Today morning was absolutely lovely. :)



When i alighted from the train, the sky was all gloomy with huge dark clouds. And after i bought my packet milo, i felt cold drops on my arms. It was raining!



I love morning rain. I can't find the right words to express myself. but i love morning rain.



It was all cold and chilly, strangely, the rain smelt like the sea. It was beyond lovely.



I saw that old uncle struggling to light his cigarette in the hair-flipping winds.



I saw the trees sway and the leaves ruffle.



I saw a very nicely dressed lady running across the road with her hands over her head - attempting to shield out the rain (which wasn't very heavy).



And i saw everyone enjoying the cold, strong winds.



It was a lovely morning.

I got on the (very) cold bus, and enjoyed the simple fact that i had shelter. I sang praises (people couldn't hear me because of the engine noises - and the fact that they were all sleeping - wonderful weather to sleep.), sang praises till i fell asleep.

It was a lovely morning.

Losses are hard to deal with

It seems as though everyone is leaving - people i care about, people who are dear to me.

Then i ask myself, why - why do i get emotionally attached so easily?

Not talking about Boy-Girl Relationships and all that. But even with objects and inanimate things, Why do i develop a dependence for earthly things so easily.

Every loss is hard to take, and i have had my own fair share of losses. People at work ask if i miss my mum - Of course i do. Every single day. I miss her. And they give me the sad face everytime i reply.

Psalm 103

"For He knows how weak we are,
He remembers we are only dust.
Our lives are like wildflowers;
Like grass - we bloom and die.
But the love of the Lord remains forever."

The bible says that the Lord will not put me through any test that is too difficult for me. And i believe that - with all my heart and soul.

I have many friends who are going through periods of testing - and it has resulted in alot of struggling and heartaches.

Let this be an encouragement.

Know that whatever test you're going through is put in place only to strengthen and mold you. God will not put you through an exam He knows you can't handle. So as tough as the "tough times" are, be encouraged, because God knows you're stronger than that! :)

YOU SEE ME BUEY SONG RIGHT.

Don't look down on me, because i'm young, because i'm a girl, because i have big eyes. - whatever rubbish reason.

You don't wanna teach me - Fine.

One day i'll show you that I AM CAPABLE.

It makes a difference

Recently my brain has been caught up with a few stuff. Stuff thats not really worth my time and effort. Stuff that gets me in the Emo Spirit. Stuff that's not from God. So, last friday's Cell Group was really encouraging even though i wasn't feeling that good for most part of it. Anyhow, Aunt Shirley shared how she's getting into the habit of memorising Psalms. So i decided i'd try it too. And it makes a Difference :)

Lets hear part of mine:

Psalm 103

Let all that i am praise the Lord
With my whole heart, I will praise His holy name.

Let all that i am praise the Lord,
May i never forget the good things He does for me.

He forgives my sins,
He heals my diseases.
He redeems me from death
and crowns me with love and tender mercies.

- then i can't remember the rest.


I was reading my bible on the bus to work, and i felt really happy. Its a joy that isn't natural - i think. And i just recalled that Psalm 103 was my mum's favourite Psalm <3

I miss mummy. Wish she was here.

Then, i reached Tuas. AND THE SKY WAS ALL GLOOMY.

THATS MY FAVOURITE KIND OF SKY. <3 Thank you Jesus.

My voiceless days

I love being voiceless. Especially when i force myself to sing, and my voice goes all over the place. Totally worth it.

The past few days have been.. different. In a sense, old people coming back, new people disappearing. At work, I've been learning alot. I thank God that the Pakciks at the warehouse are so merciful, for they never hesitate to teach me how they go about doing their work.

So, Thank you Pakciks!

And the office people have been really nice as well. Sibu is really comical, ChaiFong has been great in teaching me stuff and ordering lunch! The china ladies and Wilson are very nice too. I think i need to get to know Esther better. I thank God that Pakcik Moo is so patient. I think i've been quite irritating, asking him the same stuff over and over again. Lets hear some examples:

Me: Pakcik Moo! Philippines is what?

PM: PH (with a smile :) )

~

Me: Pakcik, Which one is the invoice number?

PM: This one (with smile :) )

~

Me: Pakcik Moo, this is local delivery right?

PM: Yes :)

Me: So no need to key in House Airway Bill and Permit number?

PM: Yes :)

~

If i were Pakcik Moo, i'd have ripped off my head. -


Anyhow, Last night i had a very real conversation. Part of which made me sad, the other part made me happy. But for most parts, i had no opinions - since its no-think day.
Nevertheless, the part that made me happy - was the part when you got serious.

And then there's a part that was very... HAAA?!? We were talking about indifference and how it irritates the hell out of me. And my impression was that you didn't care about anything at all.

You: I care about my parents.

Me: Okay. thats good. What else?

You: You.

-silence-

Me: Ha?

You: I care about you.

-more silence-

~

Then, i can't remember what came after the silence. I think it was talk about Sex Gods and Gurus. Thats the part i want to forget. Cheeeez.

2nd Chance

I want a second chance at this.

Gen, What have you done.

It's all i can think about.

And it's wrong. damn it, it's wrong.

I keep playing the moment over and over and over again in my head and i question myself, was it my fault? Well, it always takes two hands to clap, so i guess i am at fault anyway.

But am i repentant? No. I'm not. Thats why i'm not asking for forgiveness yet. As much as i enjoyed that moment, I feared it as well. But yet, i feel like i wanna do it again. Which is wrong - all over again.

Why, why is it making me think so much? It shouldn't. Because it didn't mean anything. But why? Perhaps it's because it's the first time i felt so vulnerable but yet safe at the same time.

You, you made me feel vulnerable and small. But then all you had to do was kiss my forehead and i feel like everything's gonna be alright. There were so many screenshots (per se) and i'm trying to hold on to every single one. Every single moment felt different. But you, Oh you, You were just like you were - several years ago.

I replay the scenes, over and over. And then i ask myself, Do i care about you? Of course. Do i love you? Maybe. Am i in love with you? No. No, I'm not in love with you.

I hate myself for allowing all that to happen. I hate you for making it happen. I hate us.

If you're reading this, stop guessing who i'm talking about, its not who you're thinking. This post is not for discussion. Don't try to comfort me, because what i need is a slap, not nice words of affirmation.

Some things... must be said.

Recently i just found out that:

1. My brother's perception of Logistics is that its all about counting trucks. I'm utterly disappointed - but i just can't be bothered to educate him because i feel like he doesn't even bother to listen. To have your brother think that all you do is count trucks (for a living) -really sucks. because it makes me feel so incompetent and silly. His perception makes me feel like he thinks whatever he's doing is better than what i'm doing. His perception of Logistics makes me feel like the 3 years that i've spent studying Logistics was a total waste of time. His perception of Logistics makes me feel like all my effort is redundant.

2. There's this person - that i miss. I really do. And trust me when i say i'm getting over him. The flesh is weak. And I. I miss him. Sometimes i'm fine, sometimes i think about him, and sometimes i just dwell on it a little longer than i should. It has come to a point where i have to delete every single trace of his number in my phone so that i don't have any means of initiating contact. No, i don't know his number by hard. And i just.... I'm trying. I really am. But i miss him.

3. I feel so lazy, I can't be bothered with a lot of stuff. Like.. the OSIP Presentation that Nat and i are supposed to do - not that i don't wanna do it, but Argh. Sorry Nat, No offence. I just wanna concentrate on work and learn my processes and operations. I'm skipping 2 days of work for this Presentation - which is alot of time off work. Not good. I, too, can't be bothered with... replying smses. I read smses, and i don't reply. I don't know why. I just don't. Work can be busy sometimes, granted. But sometimes, i just can't be bothered to reply. I'm sorry if i ignored your sms. I will reply if its important :)

trouble-some

Got also pek-chek. Don't have also pek-chek.

Since i got tagged.

Quiz Game rules: - I deleted the rules. Because i think they're stupid. If you have nothing to do (like me) then just do la!

Tagged by Keith

1.If your lover betrayed you, what will you do?
--> if he's my husband and he's repentant, i'd take my time to forgive and work on repairing our relationship. --> if he's my boyfriend, and he's repentant, i'd do the same as above. Otherwise, i'd cook him for dinner.

2.What will you do if you do not share the same feelings as the person who likes you?
--> Avoid. For sure.

3.What will your dream wedding be like?
--> Small and simple. Hopefully by the beach. I'd make all guests come Hawaiian-themed.

4. What do you wish to have now?
--> God's peace, and His reign over my emotions. So they don't go fluttering around like a stupid moth.

5.What's your ideal lover's height?
--> Taller than me. Well, its hard to find someone shorter than me anyway. :)

6.Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else?
--> I think all the cliche lines always say both are blessed.. but i think honestly, being loved is definitely less difficult. but Loving someone is... a whole other level. Shouldn't be compared.

7.If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?
--> I'd ask God if the feelings i'm feeling are from Him, if they're not, then i'd ask for Him to take them away. Quickly. :)

8.If the person you secretly like is already attached, would you wait?
--> Well. In the first place i won't set my eyes on someone who's attached.

9.What do you want most in life?
--> God's presence. In everything and anything.

10.Who is the most impt to you now?
--> Thats a tough one.

11.What kind of person are you?
--> I think most people think i'm nicer than i actually am. I'm not that nice. I'm quite mean actually.

12.If the person you secretly like cannot recognize you, what would you do/how would you react?
--> I'd give him some gingko nuts to help improve his memory.

13.Would u be devoted in a relationship?
--> Definitely. When i'm committed, i am committed.

14.If your lover & your best friend are trapped in the sea, you can only save one, the other will die, who will you save?
--> I'd make sure both can swim before i allow them to go out to sea. Otherwise, i'd dive in with them and then pray for dolphins to swim by and rescue us.

15.What types of friends you prefer?
--> People who get me. and allow me to get them - in the same sense. You get it? :)

I tag:

anyone who wants to do this. Its actually quite fun cause it makes your mind wander.

Yode-ley Yode-ley Yode-ley-hoo-hoo

So. I've got more interviews lined up. =_= I'm honestly more keen in Operations than HR. but, O well. Give it a shot.

Anyhow, yesterday night i had several chapters of weird dreams. Some were happy dreams, some were frightful nightmares. Although i can only remember two - one of each genre, i know i dreamt more. But they're just... lost - somewhere in the dark corners of my pea-brain.

Lets start off with the Frightful nightmare.

So i was at some primary school, running a camp - with the usual people, there's Ros, Melvin, Alex, Chengwei, and some others. The school campus was next to the beach - weird. It was the second day of the camp, and i checked the schedule to see what programme was next, turns out its the Main Item of the camp - an Amazing Race kind of game. And when i saw the schedule, i had a weird "flip" in my stomach, so i went to check my note book. Turns out, I was supposed to plan the entire game - which, you can predict, i didn't (Since its a 'Frightful Nightmare').

Anyway, in a moment of shock and anxiety, i decided to think of some games, and then brief my facilitators. *i know i thought of a few, but i can only remember one game.* I shall explain my atrocious game:

The main idea of the game is for the team members to guess the word being spelt out.
When two groups arrive at the station (set to be by the beach), each group will have to volunteer one person from their group. These two reps would then be told one secret word which they'd have to spell out to their group members. Here's the catch:

The reps would each be lying on the beach, and as they attempt to spell out the word, they would be tickled by the opposing team's members. So, picture with me, Rep A would be lying on the ground, tickled by Team B. Vice versa for Rep B and Team A. So amidst all the screaming and laughing, the reps would have to spell out the letters to the opposing team members who would be tickling the other rep.

Weird game. With no logic.

Anyhow, as i was about to gather my facilitators to brief them, I saw that they were already gathered by Melvin. And the worst thing was, they were all in white tops, and white long pants (apparantly the dress code that i didn't know exist) And it wasn't just normal white, it was NEON white - the kind of BRIIIGHT white. and i was in polo tee and jeans. So yea. I went to sit down with Melvin while the other Facils went away to set up their stations. And before he could say anything, i started crying. And Melvin stared at me, bewildered. And i thought he'd be angry and all that, but - turns out he forgot that i was supposed to plan the game - so he went ahead and planned it himself.

Why is this a Frightful Nightmare - i don't know. Don't question my logic. its MY logic.


Anyway, moving on to the other genre - my so-called Happy Dream.
It's actually a pretty long dream, but i only remember a snippet of it.

We (i shan't mention who's the other person i was with. hehehe.) were walking along Upper Serangoon Road. Its the route i used to walk when i was going to school - Zhonghua Sec. I've not been there for 3-4 years, so it's a pretty weird place to be appearing in my dreams.

Anyway, we were walking. And i remembered looking at his tan arms. then.

Him: Do you wanna hold hands?

Me: Mmm. Okay, i don't mind :)

*holds hands*



Thats it. Its such a rubbish dream.

Not good Not good.

As if a Viral Stomach Flu isn't enough, i have to learn that my Vestibular Nerves are Weak. That accounts for all my fainting and dizzy spells. Vestibular Neuronitis.

Arg. The headache isn't going away, probably because of the fainting spell i had yesterday. Everytime i stand up and walk my head throbs. So all i can do is lie down - which causes lethargy and inevitably leads to.. Naps.

I can't eat much, because everytime i do, my stomach churns and churns and churns and makes a whole lot of noise. And usually 5 minutes after i eat, my stomach feels hot - don't know what that feels like? Think diarrhoea. Its as if my stomach isn't happy with whatever i'm eating - even if its Milo and Crackers.

Okay. and to JONATHAN from TEMASEK POLY - LOM. PLEASE DON'T CALL ME AT 12.45am. >_<

When it hits you again, and again.

Ves-tee-bu-ler Niu-rhon-nye-tees


Stop calling me, please. I need rest. i really really really do.

Several Shout-outs. I really am shouting. Mentally.

I shall not be nasty, so i shan't say who these shout-outs are for. I feel like a badass today because my stomach has decided to be infected with a virus and flu, and the nausea and fever is giving me the urge to rip everyone's heads off.

1. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WHY CAN'T YOU EVER WASH THE DAMN TOILET. I FEEL LIKE TEARING OFF YOUR HEAD BECAUSE Ooops! Guess what? YOU USE THE SAME DANG TOILET TOO. SO ONCE IN A WHILE, BE NICE, AND WASH IT. (this one's obvious, but i don't care. Its time you learn to WASH THE TOILET.) I DON'T SEE WHY ITS SO DIFFICULT. EVEN YOUR NAUSEATED DIAHORREA-ED FEVERED IRRITATING AND IRRITATED SISTER CAN FREAKING DO IT WHEN SHE'S SICK. SUCK IT UP AND WASH THE DAMN TOILET. YOU MCP.

(turns to someone else)

2. YOU. Stop pretending like you know me so well. Sometimes i feel like just saying, "Sha-dup, sha-dup, sha-dup" BECAUSE I REALLY REALLY REALLY REAAAALLLLYYY ............ AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH. I wish you would bugger off.

(turns to yet, someone else.)

3. AND YOU. STOP BELITTLING ME. STOP TRYING TO MAKE WHATEVER I DO SOUND SO TINY AND STUPID, BECAUSE DAMN IT, I CAN DO THINGS WELL. I AM NOT INCAPABLE.





If you think any of the above refers to you, please.. take action. By "Action", i don't mean clarifying if i was shouting at you. Just deal with it, and move on. Heck it, you don't even need to do anything about it, unless you really think its you. Because you don't live for me, you don't owe me anything. (THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO STATEMENT ONE. STATEMENT ONE DEMANDS ACTION - i.e. WASHING THE TOILET.)


I'm not YOUR world, you don't live for me. If you feel like ripping my head off, by all means DO IT. Because it might just make me feel better. If you think it doesn't concern you, then.. Have a nice day, you kind soul, you have just made my day by not irritating me! :D


Yes. Gen has a dark side. LIVE WITH IT. or bugger off and leave me and my stomach ALONE.

Poop pee pile pie pop

Thats a line of random words starting with Bs. Ooops, no, its Rs.

I... shouldn't be feeling this way, right?

I shouldn't. but i do. ~_~ Shoot.

And you know. Seriously, Lord. Seriously. What kind of test is this?! I hate it that i feel like i'm failing at Your tests. This test, i can see, has been carefully sculpted. So carefully. Even the "requirements" that i'm not conscious of. How is it even possible? HOW and WHERE in the world do you find an asian guy who speaks English so well? who has Reading as an interest? Loves Coffee? Family Oriented? Has a direction in life? Doesn't go "Huh?" at the word 'Logistics'? Whose personality profile complements mine? Recognises his own flaws? Isn't thick skinned, but yet, isn't afraid to BE thick skinned? Has been a Christian ALL HIS LIFE? Has such a good sense of humor? Knows how to have a good laugh? Likes SALTED popcorn? And EVEN HIS FAVOURITE COLOUR IS THE SAME AS MINE.

I can imagine if we got married in the future, we can all expect a Yellow car, yellow walls, yellow rooms, yellow furniture, yellow pots, and yellow pillow cases.

Lord, are you freaking kidding me? WHY. WHY NOW. WHY THIS. WHY.

WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Argh. i feel like Job. And i'm so thankful that Lord, You're not the kind of God that demands us to be all polite and proper. I'm so thankful that You desire honesty. And you allow us to... talk to you. Yes, i'm so thankful that You listen. You answer prayers. You help Your people. And Father, Pleasepleaseplease, show me. Show me what You want me to learn from this whole.. L-arc.

: (

WHHHHHHHHHYYYYYY

HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN. stupid careless me. *kicks self*

I pray that a kind soul will find my wallet and bring it to the police.

O dear Lord, Help me. Please. I feel utterly demoralized.

Concluding GAG

So :) Gavin, Aaron and I spent an evening together - once again, at Ma La Steamboat, and then HK cafe right next door. We're trying to make that our norm.

And, of course, after spending a few hours together, there has to be some sort of conclusion, so here:

Aaron: Aaron, being so smart, was the first one to make us realise that Mermaids can't have sex. The only way for a mermaid to have sex is if the bodies switch, meaning a fish top-body, and a human lower-body. This makes men not wanna have sex with Mermaids.

Gavin: Gavin's abs are in fact, his ribs.

Gen: is irritatingly stubborn. and needs to dress up more.

There we have it :)


I thank God for Gavin and Aaron - because they're SO extremely different in their very own ways, but yet - so.. similar. I value their honesty, how we can be all quirky and weird, and..
the fact that i don't have to pretend to be the bubbliest person alive when i'm with them. And God knows how much i value that. I thank God that they are my friends, my loves.

Before Poly started, i remember i prayed and fasted for God to provide friends who'll meet my every need. Now that poly has ended, I can say - with all my heart and soul and might - that God is faithful, God is good, God is Amazingly Accurate. :) What the heck, God's timing is ALWAYS perfect. Do i hear an Amen?

I know i'm currently going through another season in my life - changes are rampant, more than usual, and i'm struggling to adapt to those changes. It has not been easy, God knows. But i know that God is my provider, my strength, my hope, and He loves me for me. :) Thats more than enough.. its more than enough.

All the nations come,
They bow and sing Your majesty, forever.
- Paradise Band

and God said, Come to Me - all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

I am sorry. I am sorry if my actions have led you on. I am sorry if i have - in any way - caused you to feel whatever. I should've said no, should've had more self-control, should've learn not to cross the line.

I'm sorry.

Now - all that i have to do, is to wait - for the opportunity to tell you that.

O my.

Its Today!

And thank you for listening. and sharing. : )

I'm shivering all over!

Just let me keep my memories. And stop judging me.

I don't know why, but i just want to do this. Lets have two - Pig and Lion.

- postings removed -

A few mental Post-its

Gek: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR. I WANNA SEE!

Xuan: PCAFEG

Gavin & Aaron: WHEN ARE WE MEETING?!

Nat: I'm so sorry babe. So so sorry!

Debbie: WHERE DID YOU DISAPPEAR TO!? Are you hiding amongst clumps of broccoli?

Gen: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING!?

When my brain goes blank and my heart goes bust.

This week has been one BIIIIIG week. LOOOOOOOOOOOONG week.

There were so many times where i really felt like crying. And i thank Akira for lending me his ears to listen to stuff thats totally irrelevant.

But anyhow. This week has been one of the longest. Camps for five days, and an event to run on saturday. Plus work on Sunday. I wonder - how did i even make it through.

Thank you Jesus. for strength, for showing me Your faithfulness, for showing me how weak i am - without You.

I truly truly truly believe that if it weren't for Jesus, I would be lying 6 feet under a tombstone. Hence, my gratefulness.


On a separate issue,

I felt happy when you sounded happy. thing is, i don't want to feel that way, I don't want anything more than a friendship. Perhaps a good and strong bond, but nothing more. I don't want to feel that way towards anyone - not now, just not now.

So don't. Don't be nice, don't open doors, don't send me home, don't make me laugh, don't do the stuff that you do.

Because i don't want to ruin this, this is good - better than anything i've come across/stumbled upon. I want this to work, and thats why i know - nothing can happen, not now.

Just not now.

Change Change Change Poof

Things change all the time. Emotions change, people change, opinions change, characters change, situations change.


Life is hard, everything seems hard.

I hate Mas Selamat.

Period.

When time changes.

Have you ever started off liking someone alot. And before anything can happen, you kind of realise you don't feel THAT crazy about that person anymore?

What Changed?

Sigh.

Meh-Toh-Dees Ply-Mee Gers Skoo Camp.

:) Altho there's still one more day until the end of camp for MGS, I feel that its time to say my thank-yous.

So, here goes:

To my dearest Facilitators.

Rui Xiang (DeBriefer) - I can't stress how impressive you were. This, being your first time facilitating for LE, I admire your gungho-ness and the maturity you bring to this camp. Even as you "debriefed" the girls, whatever you said - i took as a lesson for myself too. And I'm thrilled i brought you in to LE, because i can see you go far in this. You were definitely a great support, and i hope we get to work together some time again! :) Thank you.

Alex (Ice-Breakerer) - You really impressed me this time, even though the last time we worked together wasn't that long ago, I felt like you really grew this time. I feel so proud of you! Your confidence and steadiness is something i admire and hope to learn from. Even though we're all a bunch of 'S'es, If i were in your shoes, i'd definitely shy away from being the Ice-breakerer. Nevertheless, I'm really glad we could work together for this camp. PLEASE TAKE CARE, you really scared me after the second session on the 1st day when you said you were not feeling okay. Thank you for being so supportive during the camp, I really really really appreciate it. :) Thank you.

Melnana (Ching! Tu-Ching!) - I don't know how to say it, but - I really appreciated your presence. I truly felt like you were there to support and help me in any way you can during the sessions. And i really really really thank God for you. I prayed that God would bless me with good support and honestly, i was a little worried when i realised that all the facils with me were 'S'es - including myself. I was worried we'd be too slow, too indecisive, too -list all S-traits-, But never would i think that we'd be able to work together so well, its amazing. And i really thank you, for your prayers, your advice, your feedback, and your support. Thank you, Melnana. *CHING!

The rest of the Facils + JiaLing: I didn't get to work with you guys alot, but nevertheless, THANKYOU :)
I'm sure we all have learnt alot from this camp. Maybe in the future we'll get the opportunity to work together!
JiaLing: Since your lub-language is Gifts ah, I'll buy you kopi at kopi-been someday soon. :D I lub lub iieu manyx manyx!

To: Melvin
Thank you, Thank you thank you thank you - for believing in me, for trusting me (to take the P5s. not an easy bunch), for your advice (that is so readily given), for knowing me - the way i work, the way i communicate and everything else. Thank you for being my "Godly counsel", whatever we talked about in the Taxi (1st day) was really encouraging. The way you teach, share, engage, adapt, pacify, educate, manage and delegate never fails to amaze me. Just watching you de-brief and all, stresses that i still have SO MUCH to learn - and i will learn, so maybe i can be as good as you one day! :) I thank you for being so supportive. Thank you :)


And all the above was typed with alot of love.

Guess What

I'm Going :)

disappointments are inevitable, but that doesn't mean i don't fear them.

I fear disappointment. i fear it like i fear worms. And if you know me, i fear worms. its not a normal fear, its a punch-you-in-the-head, run-around-and-pee-in-your-pants, kind of fear.

and i fear disappointment.

Because, i don't know how to deal with it. Because i take ages to get over it. Because i don't know how to talk to the people who disappoint me. Because i don't know how to face those who disappoint. Because. it IS - disappointment.

And i don't know - what to say, what to do, when to do, how to do. Tell me how, tell me how. I feel like taking a walk outside by myself. I feel like calling that somebody. I wanna be alone. I don't wanna talk, i don't wanna laugh, i don't wanna listen, i don't wanna do anything.

Just give me my space to deal with the disappointments that came smacking in my face today. Give me time to find a way to get over this.
Give me my freedom to decide what i wanna do, how i wanna do, when i wanna do.

I will find a way, i will find my strength, i will get through this.

But until then, just let me be.

A little bit of disorganised randomness

My weird father. and me.

So today, i was walking to the bathroom, preparing for my shower. And papa was in the kitchen. (the toilet is in the kitchen)

So i entered the toilet,

Me: *notices a big piece of paint dangling from the ceiling*

Me: Ah! Papa! The ceiling is peeling!

Papa: *walks over and looks at the peel* Why!? Why peel?!

Me: -_- Because everytime i step into the toilet, i can't help but jump and scratch the ceiling.

Papa: Why!? Why is your hand so itchy?! ha?!

Me and Papa: Hehehehehehe hahahahahahahahaha.

- end of conversation -

Its kinda cool. Warped-ly cool.

the silver lining to my stiff neck day

I can't believe you called :)

WOW-HE-SMSED + Stiff neck day

:D It took me a while to realise who the sender was. And I am of course, happy.

And. O my, O my. I feel like you feel that way, because of the things you said. But no, no no, I must hold back.

O no, O no. This is bad, because i actually think you feel the same way i do.


Bad. bad baaaaaaad.

ANd plus the Stiff Neck - Urgh.

On a separate note...

This is for the issue that has been bothering me for the past few days resulting in my lack of sleep.


I have decided, that it wouldn't matter if i go or not.

Honestly, i would think that it'll be better if i didn't go. Because what i want - is a friendship.

And i thank Melina because she reminded me that by going, i'm allowing myself the opportunity to take this one step deeper - which may not be the best for now.

Of course, if he still wants/needs - i'm still available. But in any case if there's an alternative, i'd wanna build a Friendship - over books and coffee at Borders : ) More than anything.

SEE- OH- EL

So today is LOM's Celebration of Learning - which is something like a Graduation Party for the seniors, organised by the Juniors.

I arrived late because of my involvement at Nanyang Girls High. Anyhow :) The juniors put up a skit, and some videos, and there was the food - and then more music and videos. Then there was the.. Prize-giving Ceremony - Where i won the..... ermm.

ermmmmm..

Best Radiant Smile?

I wonder how that happened. *Wails and flails flabby arms: SSAAABOOOOTAAAAAAAAGGGGGGEEE~*

Anyway, during all the music videos and everything, it suddenly hit me that all of us are parting ways. Cliche and cheesy as it sounds, one can't help feeling that way, because that's all there is to feel.

There's so many people i'm gonna miss seeing in Lectures. So many lecturers i'm gonna miss seeing in Lectures. So many things i'm gonna miss doing in Lectures.

Poly has indeed been fruitful, and I'm so happy that i chose Logistics, because i've had my best days there. Best days, filled with the best laughters, best gossips, best teases, best bores, best people, best loves.

I thank all LOM lecturers. You have made Poly what it is, and cheesy as it sounds, LOM wouldn't be the same without you quirky lecturers (who happen to be the BEST and FASTEST gossipers. better than us.) You might not know, but sometimes, the stories from your working experiences that you share with us during tutorials and lectures serve as a real encouragement for me - simply because i've heard countless nasty stories about the working world, and just knowing that you guys were able to solve, strive and survive it all motivates me to want to do well and make it big in the Logistics World.

I thank Mr. Lum for telling us to go for our passion. And i really do hope i will one day achieve my goal - which is to save some animals - Yes, Mrs Pang will argue that this isn't a SMART Goal (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-based - OKAY i'm just guessing. off the top of my head.), nevertheless, it is still a goal, and i wanna attain it - even if i'm 89 years old. I'll go save some elephants, and bears. Because i believe thats where my heart is.

And as all Lecturers preached, YES YES YES, we'll definitely be in touch. : )


Here's to all the Lecturers of Temasek Polytechnic - Business School's Logistics and Operations Management Diploma Course -

Nothing says it better than - Thank you : )

Googling Boogling Wooogling OOOOooooogling

OMY.

Sometimes its best not to google stuff online. Especially when the search engine churns out other people's pictures and you have weegek sitting opposite you - commenting on how guys like to show off and who not to talk to during the event.

NO. NONONO. O NOOOOOOOOO.

this is making me nervous. AAAAAHHHHHHHHH.


WEEGEK! >:(

I feel so nervous i'm shivering all over. Even my insides are shaking like jelly-wellies. Like.. agar agar. I can't decide if i want to or not. Its not a big thing though.








Who am i kidding.

If it isn't a big thing i wouldn't be brogging about it. O no. i feel so screwed.


But then again, no harm... right?


YA. NO HARM, NO BARM. Everyone says to go. OF COURSE I WANNA GO. but then again, i don't wanna go.

Okay, i'm thinking too much.






Okay.





Let me go back to thinking.



Who was the one who brought in the word that rhymes with Moo. and Boo. and Coo.

Small Things that Make My Day

I can list a whole list of stuffs that make me happy/make my day. but i think i'm gonna restrict myself to 10 (for the moment).

1. Cool gloomy Grey days

2. Brown Paper bags

3. A good read

4. Long bus rides

5. Night winds/breezes

6. Stray dogs and cats

7. Not having emails to reply to

8. Hearing songs i know on the radio

9. Long conversations accompanied with coffee and some love

10. Indulging in Popcorn, Peanut Butter, or Chocolat Au Noir


Okay, thats ten. I most definitely have more. :) But i'll leave that for some other day.

The many happenings after one's last paper.

Chalet was great :) I don't like reciting all that we've did - every single event or conversation in order. So i'm not going to. But here's what we did - in a not-very-big nutshell.

We:

1. Took afternoon naps
2. Played Password, Pictionary, Murderer-kind-of-game
3. Told ghost stories
4. Watched Brothers and Sisters, Scary Movie 1, Scream 1-3, Friends, Dead Silence
5. Ate alot of chips
6. Drank some
7. Gossiped (Bad bad bad.)

But, overall, even though we didn't do much, i believe it was time well spent.

I now know that:

1. Aaron likes pretending to be drunk
2. Gavin's expectations for horror movies is unreachable/unmeetable/un-something-able.
3. Many of us have many common opinions on CERTAIN stuff/people
4. Aaron farts alot. Audible farts.
5. Xuan LOVES pictionary
6. Debbie is totally in love with the RFID thing - so much so, she can use RFID in a murder story.
7. Debbie can win the Oscars, Emmy Awards, BAFTAs. Her acting skills plus RFID stories is mind-blowing.

Yes, and just today i went out to meet someone i've never met before.

And i'm happy :)

Something good is ending. Something good is ending.

Hmmm. Time check: 9.50pm

In less than twelve hours i'd be taking my last paper that will, once and for all, conclude Polytechnic Education. Poly has been wonderful - good days (i've had tons.), bad days (not so many.) I truly loved Poly life. Don't get me wrong, i loved my secondary school life too, i loved it to bits. But Poly, is a whole different thing. It in itself is like a story - how people met, how things happened, how more people met, how more things happened. And of course, how we all juiced for Gossip (Debbie juiced for real juice though. And Veggies.)

I thank God that i actually know what i want to do after Poly. Never have i known my direction so well. It actually feels quite good because i know of so many people who know not what they want. I'm grateful.

Poly has been wonderful. I can say it 3,725 times, and it won't be enough. I met some really good people. And through it all, God has shown me how faithful and O-My-God He is.

I remember when i just started Poly, i prayed for a good friend - a friend who will meet my needs, a friend whom i know i can count on when things get rough, a friend who will take me for me. I prayed for one, God gave me a whole gang. :)

I remember i prayed that i would enjoy whatever i study and find meaning in it. I got what i prayed for, and never in my entire 2 years have i regretted taking Logistics. Never. I'm happy i did, because through this course, i got to go to Bangkok, i got to go Vietnam (and had the BEST time), i got to meet Paul, I got to meet my gang, i got to meet my LOM course mates, i got to indulge in Pork-chop-all-fries-more-gravy, i got to meet some of the biggest people in the Supply Chain Industry. And, i got to see and learn and know how faithful my God is.

I love Poly life. It has truly been one of the best periods of my life.

For that, i give my biggest thanks to:
- GAG & gang: Aaron, Gavin, Xuan, Gek, Nat, Debbie
- LOMIG Main Comm: Dean, Eve, Sam, Kachee, Gek, Nat, Yuwen, Felicia, Karen, Hanqian, Jessie
- LOM lecturers: Thats everyone :)
- LOM coursemates: And more of Everyone :)
- All my project groupees: Ooo. this one tests my memory, but nevertheless :)
- All Vietnameses i met: OOOOooo. *refers to previous postsssss*
- And of course, God - the almighty, Alpha and Omega, my fortress, my hiding place, my best friend, my teacher, my comforter, my provider, my all in all.


To all whose category i've missed out on, I STILL LOVE AND THANK YOU <3

Just let me do my thing.

I believe in personalization. I believe in having your own style, and i don't judge people for having their own styles, their own language, their own talk, their own do-s. I have my own. And i hate it when people reproduce me. Stop it. I'll hammer you with my ASRS. (thats Logistics Lingo.) (HAHAH! Whatever, it doesn't even make sense.)

Anyway. I'm gonna go dance now. Its my only stress outlet when no one's at home.

Supply Chain Execution Development Program 2008

Yes thats right, supplychain Execution.

For the past 3 days we've been learning Supply Chain the Execution style *smirk*

No, no, no la. Supply Chain Executive Development Program.

It was a great experience! I learnt quite a fair bit. Not so much of the technical knowledge, but i learnt more of the .. Life-skills involved. The importance of networking, having a mentor, greatness of knowing Paul (hahaha), and the likes.

I thank Paul, for allowing us to sit in for this training even though we didn't pay for it. I'm so thankful, because i met great people there. I'm not gonna stop networking with these people because i know, someday, i'm gonna have to bank on these networks that i've built for myself.

Okay, due to the severe lack of sleep and rest, my throat is scratchy, i think my head feels a little hot, my tummy is rumbling, and je suis tres fatigue. I'm still amazed at how i wasn't late for the past 3 days of training! it sounds almost impossible! Its amazing! then again, maybe its because everyone was late and i was the least late. Which makes it seem like i wasn't late, but in fact I totally was/am/are/is/what?!.

Okay. okay. I need to go kick my own butt. :) Lovely.

Don't come back just to haunt and scare the living lights out of me.

Sometimes people in NS come up with the weirdest suggestions. Like how patching up would make their life better.

Some nice pictures to nullify today. Not making sense, am i?






















































Jian Wen. You're just gonna keep coming back, aren't you?

Vee-ay-el-yee-an-tee-ai-an-yi aprostrophe es.

This year's Valentine's day was GRRREAT! :)

Went out with Gavin and Aaron, my fellow egg-yolkers. We had Ma La Hotpot at Novena, its was so good - but the only thing i don't like about it, was that.... your poop following the meal will be piping hot.

Thats a little bit of information that is vital, so that you won't go into shock when you visit de toilette to find a burning butt.

As hot as all our poops were, we had a great time. Altho poor Gavin had a very bad bladder/tummy. And after we finished our hotpot, we proceeded next door - Hong Kong Cafe!

We had tea and coffee and Aaron ordered Bo-Luo Buns which were tres delicious! :D

And we talked about dogs, animal abusers, news, some people, brothers and sisters.

Then, this really weird couple came and sat beside us. The man was a very small and dark man, the lady was old - about 50+. She had braces on, and a frangipani flower in her hair. And she was wearing this sexy black halter dress. Very very weird.

:) Anyhow, i had fun. And i bought James Patterson's 4th of July.

This has been an extremely boring post. So, Tam Biet! Au Revoir! :)

SANDWICHES CAN BE BAD WHEN YOU'RE THE LETTUCE

O Come on, come on.

Don't keep me sandwiched. Its like.....

okay, i can't think of any good analogies. So, let me go meet up with GAG first.

Something's Wrong. With me

I don't know why, i just don't feel comfortable with you.
Maybe its because you've changed, or at least, i felt you've changed.
You used to know what you want. You used to stand strong, like an unwavering tree.
But a gust came along.
I know that gust, i know.
Trust me, when i say i know.
I feel like I've lost you.
I've lost you, my friend.

This is one of the MANY MANY reasons why i love animals more than Humans.

Judge me, however you want, on my language, my thoughts, my disgusting ways of expressing myself. Whatever, i don't give a fuck. As Zachary said it, this world is rotten. Rotten to its very core.

This post is meant for bear bile consumers. or anyone.

In all honesty I have to confess that i was once a bear bile consumer. My parents have heard that bear bile can cure my asthma when i was young and hence they purchased some for my consumption when we visited China. No, i'm not blaming my parents. I thank them for taking such good care of me. I can only blame me - for not educating myself to know the origins of bear bile. I can only blame myself for not knowing how the bile was collected and how much the bears have to suffer just because of my wheezing. I hate that I was a consumer, I feel so sick. If i can vomit whatever i've consumed from 12 years ago, i would. I am disgusted at myself for even visiting a shop that sells bear bile. I feel sick. I feel disgusted. I feel angry and sad. For that -even though nothing's gonna change- i am sorry. I am sorry. I am truly, truly sorry.

I honestly think that consumers of bear bile should have their own bile milked in the very same manner the milking was done on the bear. Have you any idea how painful the process is? have you ANY idea how SICK AND CRUEL the milking process is?

Educate yourselves. you can click here, here, here.

I don't even know where to begin. I feel sick, sick to my stomach, sick in my heart. So sick i don't even care about my committments in Singapore. i really don't care. if i can, i'd leave everything and fly off to China or Vietnam to save some bears. Say i'm dramatic and over exaggerating everything. Whatever, try having your bile milked the same way, when you start screaming, banging your head against the cage which is so small you can't turn or move, or when you start chewing on your own hands to distract yourself from the pain, or when your fingers get chopped off because you try to defend yourself from the milkers, please, please, just tell me not to DRAMATISE.

The procedure itself is pure torture. The living conditions are horrific and depressing. It can't get any sicker. It seriously can't.

Modern medicine has proven that Bear Bile DOES NOT improve medical conditions, it doesn't help the human body, and it has no effect on humans at all, SO WHY CAN'T THE BEAR FARMING STOP.

to those people who use/buy shampoos with bear bile as one of the ingredients, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. is your hair THAT important that you are willing to allow bears to go through such torture? JUST FOR YOUR FUCKING HAIR?

Let me show you some excerpts.

Okay forget it, i don't even feel like showing excerpts because i'd end up quoting the entire article.

I couldn't help myself, but i just had to learn more about this. And so i happened to chance upon a website and dared myself to look at some of the pictures. if you want to, just google something along the lines of "Milking of Bear Bile". I'm sure search engines will churn out something.

You can be indifferent towards this issue, you can choose not to care. But Please, I plead with you, Don't consume or patronise shops that sell or promote Bear Bile. Don't, because bears are suffering. They are suffering for a "medicine" that can easily be replaced by 54 other kinds of herbs. So please, Don't.

I have decided, i'm gonna save alot of money so that i can help the associations fighting to save the bears. For that, i will not go for the Jeff Chang Concert. I know its not a big gesture. But while i'm still working on my plans, i'll start small.


I will not stand by, helplessly. I will not stand by and watch. I will do something about this.




To the bears who died because of this inhumane practice,

I am truly sorry. Please be happy in heaven, and look after your fellow bears who are still suffering. Please tell them not to chew on their own paws, please comfort them and keep them from loneliness, despair and mental anxiety. If you can smack some Bile-milkers from heaven, please do so, I'm sure God will allow it.

Some pictures from the whole CNY Bonanza

Thats my table before spring cleaning.
















Thats my table during spring cleaning.
Note: Vinne the Vacuum Cleaner! :D













Thats Papa making Pineapple tarts.













Thats my work of art: Pineapple Squares to be used as filling for the Pineapple tarts.













Thats the first few batches of Tarts waiting to be cooled.














Thats some very nice tarts.

Things to do with Festivities

God Bless my CNY Shopping! :D I hope i get to find Good buys.


Just yesterday during dinner/coffee with Aaron, i was telling him about my CNY shopping, and i mentioned that i wanna get a jumper - so that i don't have to think of what to wear when i go for tutorials and lectures.

Then, i suddenly remembered, since there aren't classes this week, we only have one more week of tutorials and lectures. Nono, to be exact, 3 days of lecture and tutorials.

I can't believe Poly's ending. It makes me sad to know that i won't be able to meet acquaintances randomly. It makes me more sad to know that i won't be sitting with my gang for lunch, or meeting for project discussions.

I can't believe Poly's ending.

I was searching for Animal Web banners online. and i chanced upon a website www.protectseals.org

And i watched a short documentary on the clubbing of seals which i totally regret on one hand. On the other, the video has truly truly shown me just HOW SICK human race can be.

To say that i feel disgusted would be a total understatement.

I felt sick to my stomach when i saw how humans actually club seals. They do it as if they're playing golf, only instead of a golfball, its the head of a seal. A living seal. Just one heartless whack, and all you see is the snow around turn blood red.

I felt so disgusted, i had to learn more about this cruel process. Thank you, Wikipedia.

The typical method of killing seals is to use a Hakapik. A Hakapik is a heavy wooden club with a metal head to crush the skull of a seal, and a hook on one end used for dragging carcasses.


I am officially against the clubbing of seals.

What has this world become? Seal-clubbing, Horse Slaughtering, Dog-fighting, Puppy Mills, Animal Abuse, Research Chimps, Animal testing.

I wonder, if its best to not know such disturbing information, because it always leaves me feeling next to helpless about it.

YES. i've been extremely lazy since i've not been updating my brog, but it doesn't really matter. The past few days were a horror. The short period was filled with much rushing, typing, presenting, running, printing, arranging, binding, filing, editing, more running, queueing, more printing, and more running.

Of course, amidst this weirdly horrific-ly busy schedule, alot of money was spent. So much, i begin to wonder why should a report cost so much. -_- And its not like we can claim from a money pool or something.

Anyway. My gang has planned for reunion dinner next monday night and DANG! I'M SO EXCITED! i can't imagine, the low-heying, the steamboating, the shouting, the cooking, the laughing.. I think this dinner is for all of us - we need it. Because FYP has taken such a toll on us, we need a recovery plan.

And o, i still can't find anyone to go to the Jeff Chang concert in March with me. If you're reading this, and you're interested (and have the financial capabilities) please please pleeeeaaasee let me know :(

Okay, the last thing i wanna brog about is about the OSIP sharing that Mrs Wee made GAG do. Well, i'm proud of GAG. Gavin Aaron Gen. The sharing wasn't the greatest, but i think we did motivate some of the juniors to go for OSIP, and thats the best thing that can happen from that little sharing, yes? :)

Vietnam is a beautiful country, and i can't even begin to say how much i miss Vietnam, how much i want to go back. I miss the people there, Anh Nhan, Anh Dong, Anh Hoa, Chi Hang, Chi Thuy, Chi Ngan, Chi Dang, Chi Van, Anh Trung, Anh Dung, Anh Phong, Anh Tung, Anh Trung, Anh Do, Anh Nhut, Anh Lap, Anh Khanh, Chi Tao, Anh Duoc, Anh Tinh, Anh Diem, Anh Canh.

O, so many of them. I miss them, i miss them so much. I miss the country, the culture, the people, the Love.

AH,

You guys are family. Family. <3>

Fish-duck-elephant

chicken-banana.

Your IQ Is 105

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

And.............. i did this for fun:

Your Penis Name Is...

Little Juan

Penis Name Generator

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Uncle Paul (Mu Gui): Stop reading my blog! I'm sure you have better things to do, like............. find more companies for our career faire >:D

I am, a very bad cousin.

I encouraged my poxed-out cousin to eat and drink everything my aunt and grandma are keeping from her.

I even bought her Famous Amos Macadamia cookies. Apparently people with Pox cannot eat or drink - egg, any bean products, soy sauce, chicken, and 3659 more things.

HOWCANTHISBE?!

Thats why i secretly made coffee for her.


Because no one can do without coffee - unless you don't like coffee, but ha, thats just deception. Because Coffee - is one of God's best creations (to me, and Poxed-out Chloe).

:) God Bless Chloe!

Today was NAPFA Day!

Don't bother asking if i pass or fail, i couldn't even be bothered with how i scored, i just wanted to get it over and done with. When its time to stretch, i stretch. When they say run, i run. Ah.

The entire "event" actually brought us all together - Xuan, Gek, Nat, and GAG. We had tons of fun warming up together, talking about someone's boyfriend, discussing about RuiXiang's armpit hair, arguing about how my night out was/wasn't a date (it is NOT okay!), and discussing how music can help us run faster - and given the music Xuan listens to, we'll probably see her on all fours dashing about. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

BUT the system was so screwed up, we finished all our stations by 7pm (supposed to start at 3pm, but the rain kept going. So everything was delayed) and we had to wait TWO AND A HALF HOURS just to get our forms back and sign them - not 'them'. sign IT - it was ONE piece. There were SOOO many of us, and they JUST had to call out the numbers one by one. it was so frustrating. by the time we were done, it was already 9.30pm. And i didn't have any food in my tummy. All i ate the entire day was 2 small slices of luncheon meat i stole from my grandma's lunch (hehe. she cooked alot okay. and she couldn't even finish what she cooked.). So all in all, i was a tired, smelly, sticky, lumpish, flopsy, starving girl.

Emotions felt today:
Warm-and-fuzzy-feel
it-is-not-a-date-feel
i-stink-like-poop-feel
i-just-want-to-get-this-over-and-done-with-feel
i-need-my-inhaler-and-some-water-feel
Ooo!-curly-fries!!-feel

I signed up for my Church's School of Modern Levites, which is the Music Ministry, but this "School" is for musicians - drummer, bassist, acoustic guitar, keyboards and all. I signed up for the online lessons which will commence in May.



I need an electric keyboard with at least 4 octaves, and my budget is............... $300.

Okay. So i've got a type of conjunctivitis that can cause scarring of the cornea.

Shootz.

And today, i stole a stack of plain paper from Mr. Tan PC to print EIGHT sets of Templates for FYP Weekly Journal Submission. i think there're only 2 more weekly journals to submit. Why did i print 8 sets, you ask. I'm Singaporean.

I have to stop rubbing my eyes.

Ack.

Recently, i've stopped feeling someway about some people, but i've developed new feelings for some people. But once in a while, old feelings come back, while i try to hold on to the new feelings so that the old feelings would go away.

Sigh. my brother's turning 21. Chweny One. Feels so old. Like, when we were kids, i thought that people usually only live 4 to 5 years, and i didn't understand that being 8 years old means i've lived for 8 years and all. So can you imagine my mum's horror when i told her i wanna live for 5 years when we were in a non-aircon SBS bus one afternoon. Her eyes were as big as walnuts.

And now, korkor's turning 21. He's gonna be an adult. Soon it'll be my turn too. And all my friends' turns will come too (before mine). And then, we'll be hanging out as a bunch of adults, grownups. Our childish ways will be despised and our maturity levels will be judged.

Urgh.

School today was absolutely funny. We had a one hour lecture, then 2 hours of tutorial for Logistics Planning and Control Systems. Sounds like a whole lot of boring stuff. I think it is kinda boring cos its all tech-talk. BUT, today's tutorial was absolutely funny. For one, I was munching a curry puff and Xuan was crunching on Potato Chips throughout the lesson - which was weird cos, as usual, eating is not allowed in labs. but we were doing it as though there was nothing wrong with it. and Mr. Tan Poh Chuan (that funny little small man) didn't even bother.

Then halfway, Xuan started playing Bloons: Tower of Defense (mofunzone.com). So whilst we were watching the monkey shoot darts at the Bloons, Mr. Tan said we should be looking at him rather than the computer monitor. So we did.

THEN, i got distracted so i did this.



If you can't see the doodle clearly, here:

(Description: Chilli-Flake Poop with smelly green air attracting Rare blue flies.)


And then, Xuan complained, "Why are you always drawing poop."

So, i decided on something more.. pleasant,

A closer view at that work of art:

(Description: a back view of a doggie enjoying the light fluffy clouds, and feeling the cool breeze in his.. fur.)

AND THEN, Mr. Tan called us to the front to show us how the RFID system works. So we all gathered at the front. and he was showing us how inventory control could be made easier with RFID, cos the sensor would be able to sense what products were on the shelves and what wasn't, Or, if you put the RFID reader at the entrance of a warehouse or so, the movement of goods can be traced.

So, there were 4 readers/sensors-sort-of-thing. two on shelves and two on tripods. And that clownish Jonathan.................................................. my goodness. I laughed till my tummy ached and my eyes teared. Mygoodness. Couldn't stop laughing. He was either moving the tripods or moving the RFID tags that Mr. Tan was trying to explain with. So irritating.

Then after tutorial, Xuan, Gek, Nat and i went down to Marina Square's Waraku to indulge in some Japanese Cuisine :D WHICH WAS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL. SO YUMMY.

I didn't manage to take alot of pictures, but i took these:

(Description: Chocolate Ice-Cream Cake)

and.......

(Description: Petite 5!)


I only wish Gavin and Aaron and Debbie were there.