Gen, What have you done.

It's all i can think about.

And it's wrong. damn it, it's wrong.

I keep playing the moment over and over and over again in my head and i question myself, was it my fault? Well, it always takes two hands to clap, so i guess i am at fault anyway.

But am i repentant? No. I'm not. Thats why i'm not asking for forgiveness yet. As much as i enjoyed that moment, I feared it as well. But yet, i feel like i wanna do it again. Which is wrong - all over again.

Why, why is it making me think so much? It shouldn't. Because it didn't mean anything. But why? Perhaps it's because it's the first time i felt so vulnerable but yet safe at the same time.

You, you made me feel vulnerable and small. But then all you had to do was kiss my forehead and i feel like everything's gonna be alright. There were so many screenshots (per se) and i'm trying to hold on to every single one. Every single moment felt different. But you, Oh you, You were just like you were - several years ago.

I replay the scenes, over and over. And then i ask myself, Do i care about you? Of course. Do i love you? Maybe. Am i in love with you? No. No, I'm not in love with you.

I hate myself for allowing all that to happen. I hate you for making it happen. I hate us.

If you're reading this, stop guessing who i'm talking about, its not who you're thinking. This post is not for discussion. Don't try to comfort me, because what i need is a slap, not nice words of affirmation.