When my brain goes blank and my heart goes bust.

This week has been one BIIIIIG week. LOOOOOOOOOOOONG week.

There were so many times where i really felt like crying. And i thank Akira for lending me his ears to listen to stuff thats totally irrelevant.

But anyhow. This week has been one of the longest. Camps for five days, and an event to run on saturday. Plus work on Sunday. I wonder - how did i even make it through.

Thank you Jesus. for strength, for showing me Your faithfulness, for showing me how weak i am - without You.

I truly truly truly believe that if it weren't for Jesus, I would be lying 6 feet under a tombstone. Hence, my gratefulness.


On a separate issue,

I felt happy when you sounded happy. thing is, i don't want to feel that way, I don't want anything more than a friendship. Perhaps a good and strong bond, but nothing more. I don't want to feel that way towards anyone - not now, just not now.

So don't. Don't be nice, don't open doors, don't send me home, don't make me laugh, don't do the stuff that you do.

Because i don't want to ruin this, this is good - better than anything i've come across/stumbled upon. I want this to work, and thats why i know - nothing can happen, not now.

Just not now.