disappointments are inevitable, but that doesn't mean i don't fear them.

I fear disappointment. i fear it like i fear worms. And if you know me, i fear worms. its not a normal fear, its a punch-you-in-the-head, run-around-and-pee-in-your-pants, kind of fear.

and i fear disappointment.

Because, i don't know how to deal with it. Because i take ages to get over it. Because i don't know how to talk to the people who disappoint me. Because i don't know how to face those who disappoint. Because. it IS - disappointment.

And i don't know - what to say, what to do, when to do, how to do. Tell me how, tell me how. I feel like taking a walk outside by myself. I feel like calling that somebody. I wanna be alone. I don't wanna talk, i don't wanna laugh, i don't wanna listen, i don't wanna do anything.

Just give me my space to deal with the disappointments that came smacking in my face today. Give me time to find a way to get over this.
Give me my freedom to decide what i wanna do, how i wanna do, when i wanna do.

I will find a way, i will find my strength, i will get through this.

But until then, just let me be.