MY 200th POST. congrats-me-doo-doo-dum.


I spent one hour plus with Chlo dearest after church talking about stereotypes we dislike. Let me name a few:

1. Girls who don't act their age. 10 year olds pretending to have boyfriends who are asking them for sex and all, please.

2. Guys who have chopstick legs (already) but choose to further emphasize it to make them look like toothpicks by wearing SKINNIES. -disgusting.-

3. Girls who are 'Ah-lians' who act weak in front of guys. Please, when do guys ever dig that.

4. Guys who are such EMOs they take zi-lian pictures with stupid ugly dramatic poses.

5. Girls who photoshop their pictures and put STUPID BRAINLESS CAPTIONS. to name a few examples, "if love is a crime, i'll be your criminal" or, "You're my addiction". PLEASE. mygoodness.

6. Girls who pretend to be homoz. so AA please.

7. Girls who don't dress appropriately for church.

8. Girls who put so much mascara - their eyelashes look like a black chunk, AND they add on Fake eyelashes. Mygosh, are you trying to shelter your eyes from the rain.


all in all, i hate people like me, who stereotype people as stereotypes.


The irony of it all.

Today, i just got down to thinking about the darkest period of my life (so far).

Have you had a period in your life where - if you think back now, most of it would be gray, and painful to even think about.

I've had mine. 'twas several months after my mom passed away, at that point, i was also trying to recover from a breakup with someone very dear. That was the same period i had trouble coping with my studies (Sec 3. tough year.)

Year 2003.


That was the year i had suicidal thoughts. That was the year i broke the most dishes. That was the year i cried the most and the hardest. That was the year where i spent most nights crying myself to sleep. That was the year where i experienced wanting someone so badly. That was also the year i struggled most with everything at home. That was the year i considered dying - i thought about how i should die. And i wondered, would he come to my funeral if i died.


Ah, those adolescent years. those morbid thoughts. those dark days. those gray memories.


dtjw. its time i let go.



OKAY! enough morbidity. :) Jesus will save me.

Today's Christmas! :)

So, i'd like to bless you with two Hotpugs.

In case you didn't know, Pugs are my favourite breed. Their worried faces and flat noses are an absolute love-thing-sort-of-thing. Don't understand right? Never mind.



A Merry Christmas to all!

Even if you're stuck in the smelliest poop, wrapped in the sandpaperest skin, stuffed in the smallest container, smeared on the grossiest wall, juiced in the rustiest juicer, squeezed in the air-tightest ziplock bag,

I hope your Christmas has been meaningful, if not, i pray that your Christmas next year *long pause* will be more meaningful that all the Christmases that you've ever had!

Sometimes i think, i should forget.

But if i do, then there'll be a huge vacuum/hole/abyss/void in my memories.

Then i think, i should let go.

But if i do, then there might be a day i'd regret letting go.

So i think, maybe i should stay put.

But if i do, i'd decompose in my own flesh and rot in the memories of you. (morbidly un-true)

So. Tell me, what would you like me to do?

Because if i don't decide, the next time you come back, I'm gonna waver and lose my balance. And if i ever do fall, again, i'd be a branded a fool. The biggest fool for you.



THIS IS JUST EMO CRAP. SO PLEASE, IGNORE THIS. Go interest yourself with other stuff such as this.

Hello All! :)

Its Christmas Eve already. Too fast.

This year's Christmas - doesn't feel like Christmas. No idea why, but its something internal. I think.

I've been missing so many people (Majority Vietnamese), I've been so caught up with the D-arc ('Arc' for anime talk. 'Phase' for normal talk. 'D' is for me to know.). Thinking about D has taken up too much time, and i'm glad its gonna be over soon. Its a bittersweet feeling. I hate Bittersweet stuff - Except of course, Chocolat Noir.

I really miss Vietnam, the streets, the air, the people, the rooms, the places, the roundabouts, the pollution, the dogs, the tiles, the forklifts, the security guards, the tea, the coffee, the dinners, the homecooked dinners, the motorbikes, the rain, the 'neighbourhood', the Parksons Shopping Centre, the internet cafe, and. The Love.


Its all about the love.


My friends from Vietnam still call and stuff, and i feel so happy and warm when they call. But papa just told me that my 3-min call to Vietnam costed 22 bucks. So, i've decided, until i get a overseas calling card, i won't answer any more calls. And, it really pains me to leave a call (from Vietnam) ringing until all thats left is just "1 missed call".




And i hate to say that i don't feel Christmasy on Christmas Eve, because Christmas is my favourite season. And i'd have to wait a whole year for another Christmas - so i really don't wanna let this go.


Why am i not receptive to the Christmas Spirit. Am i missing the real meaning of Christmas?

I'm so screwed. How did i even get started on Bleach.. AGAIN.

URGH.

(thinks to self: there are 152 episodes on crunchyroll. and i'm at ep 132. which means i got 20 more.)

Ep 132 is a damn good filler :D even though its a filler, its a Good filler.

(Warning: Bimbotism comin' right up.)

HITSUGAYA IS SO COOL! WALA HALA HALA HALA. with that bleached hair and OMY!

AND O! KISUKE URAHARA! WALA WALA WALA WALA! (he's my phone wallpaper. >,<)

*throws heart-shaped confetti* (i got that from Xuan)





YOKAY. thats enough bimbotism for.... one day. teehee. toohoo.

Happy Hari Raya, Ros! and all other muslim friends reading ziz post. <3

TODAY, Papa has the day off, so he pestered me last night to help him clean up the house today. So i did. And since his shoulder hurt, i got assigned the mopping job cos its harder work.

So i mopped and scrubbed and mopped and scrubbed the kitchen floor. And now its SO MUCH CLEANER! mygoodness. but it was not an easy feat man, i think i burnt some calories back there. After all the scrubbing, Papa walked into the kitchen and exclaimed, "WOW! SO CLEAN AH!!"

I think i'm gonna forbid my grandmama to cook in my kitchen - ever again.

Anyway. There was a really funny conversation that went on whilst mopping. Papa was incharge of Vacuuming. So, he'd vacuum then i'd mop.

Me (Mopping and prespiring): Papa!

Papa (was done Vacuuming, so he was sitting and resting): Ha?

Me: You didn't vacuum the floor underneath the pail right >: (

Papa: I did! I did!

Me: NO you didn't! There was a dead fly and a dust bunny there. >: (

Papa: ... (some gibberish) (He was guilty)

Me: HAH! Trying to cheat ha!

-end of convo-

its funny to see how things have changed. usually for that kinda conversation, i'm the cheater.


OKAY. Papa's making me go bathe.

Cell was definitely great fun, watching all the ladies sing Christmas Carols at the top of their lungs. And how they'd try to gradually sing the choruses louder and all, Really peaks the Christmas mood!

To my project group, i'm sorry i wasn't able to join you guys in the afternoon :(

Just a bit of reflection. I was watching Channel 5, and Mark Richmond was giving updates for the ASEAN Games. And they showed this clip of Singapore's Proudest moments for this season of games. And i couldn't help but feel proud of Singapore - or maybe, i feel proud of the people standing with their Gold medals, with Singapore's flag on their backs, bowing to the cheering crowds.

Its pretty amazing. and it gives me goosebumps.

To you: I'm happy! :) I don't miss you that much anymore. And i'm happy about that :)


So. Today tons of stuff happened. I slept for two hours in the morning, then i woke up at 4am to continue working on my report. Then i bathed like madness, and i rushed down to school. Reached at 7am. and continued with my report. Then rush like mad again. And ah. Long story, but i managed to get my report submitted (30mins late).

Anyway, after all that mad-rushing, my adrenaline was all gone, and i was as grouchy as can be. I felt like all the fatigue accumulated from the past week chose to self-reveal today. its like, for the past week i've been sleeping 4+ hours every night. Plus, today morning i was plagued with a BIG bad flu. My voice is still a little off.

Anyway. I was supposed to meet Joel for dinner today, but his camp called him back earlier. So :( we had to cancel. But i'm quite confident we'll go out again soon. :)

And FYP meeting was quite fun. :D all the ghost stories about dolls and pontianaks.

Then i came home, and i was surfing the net and then i heard from the TV outside my room - JEFF CHANG'S CONCERT NEXT MARCH! and they were playing all his oldies, and thats how i was able to recognise even though my room door was closed. I wanted to go, quite badly, but i knew Jeff Chang-ers my age were a RARE case. RARE.

So i went to youtube and started watching all his MVs, and of course, sang along with my ko-yak voice. Then Xuan saw my "i love JEff Chang" nick.

and.............................................................................


turns out she's a Jeff Chang-er too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS ONE OF THE TWO BEST NEWS I'VE HEARD SO FAR. WE GOT ALL EXCITED AND WE HAVE DECIDED TO SAVE UP FOR JEFF-CHANG'S CONCERT NEXT YEAR SO WE CAN GET GOOD SEATS!!! :D

Well. the Second really-good news is that........................................

I found out yesterday that G loves YANNI TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMYGOODNESS. YANNI Fans are rarer than rare. but i don't expect alot of people to know/like Yanni since his music is contemp Classical. But can you imagine my shock when i played one of his songs and i said it was by Yanni, and G gave me the wide-eyed look and said, "G, I love Yanni!"

WOAH WO-AH. WOOOO-AHHHHH.


Music is love, is life.

I remember, i wrote a song very long ago. Just two verses. But its who God is to me. So here:

His love is fresh like the dew drops in the morning,
His faithfulness is for eternity.
His joy is warm - like the warmest streak of sunshine in the sky
O, i'm so in love with Him.

Though there'll be trials and battles to fight,
I know my Lord will walk with my for life.
He'll hold my hand, and wipe my tears, He'll take away my fears.
O, i'm so in love with Him.

~

I'm...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................



Tired.

Although i've left Vietnam for more than a week already, it seems my blogger thingy is still... reminiscing. Look.



Anyway. it brings back memories of Vietnam :) kinda sweet.

OKAY. so i was reading up some stuff on Wikipedia. And after some clicking, i came to the article about "Bubble Tea".

I read the entire article.

Its weird to see how elaborated Bubble Tea can get when it is explained in proper english. I mean, its just a drink with Tapioca Balls in it. But Wiki has a whole article on it, explaining things like the special big straws, the gummy texture and size of the pearls, the different kinds of drinks and flavours offered, and how ice-blended drinks should be consumed faster than the tea-drinks cos the coldness would cause the pearls to harden which makes it "less enjoyable to chew". Quite funny ay. :D

O, and I always thought that the drink was called Bubble Tea because the Bubbles referred to the Pearls since they're round and they occasionally float around in the drink. ITS NOT AY! the "Bubble" refers to the bubbles floating on the drink as a result from shaking it to mix the tea with the syrup. >_< what a revelation.

Knock yourself out, CLICK.

My bum is collecting more fats because my brain refuses to tell my body to stand up and get moving.

But thats okay. i'm gonna go for a jog tonight.

My brain has not been thinking much since i got back. Adapting to Singapore Life has not been easy. Just like how when i went back to school yesterday - everything felt alien. Everything. The noises everywhere - which were once mere sounds - were too much to bear. The canteen, the benches, outside the LTs.. everywhere. I just miss the serenity of Vietnam. But then again, Vietnam is anything but serene. The traffic is one good and very big example.

SO.

Since i got back, my brain has been plagued with pieces of Vietnam. Then, just as if Vietnam was not enough, a piece of History came back. And so, for the past 6 days, my mind has been soaked through with Vietnam and that piece of History. and my body has been plagued with Nausea.

I was told to work at church this Sunday. At first i was quite okay with it, cos i wasn't really thinking when i agreed to work. Then after some time, i really wanted to attend Worship. At least Worship. But... i can't. Cos we're shorthanded. So. I'm praying that God will teach my Spirit to be obedient. I wanna enjoy work. I really want to.

Funny how everyone i've met so far carries the same expected conversation which would typically go like this:

Me: Hello ____!

Person: HEY! YOU'RE BACK!

My Evil Brain thinks: Doh. I'm standing in front of you.

Me: Yep :)

Person: When were you back?

Me: Sunday :)

Person: So, how was your trip?

Me: Loved it. Didn't wanna come back, but I was forced to. *smiles*

Person: *Laughs out loud*

My evil Brain thinks: I wasn't joking.




I can be quite evil. I know.

TROI OI. TROI OI. TROOOOOI OI.

I just revisited my Archives and read that One post about you that i blogged last year.


I CAN'T BELIEVE AFTER ONE YEAR, I'M BACK WHERE I AM.


I'm gonna rip my hair out. Either that, or i'll just sing Bic Runga's 'Sway' so loudly you can hear me from Mulberry Ave.