Well.well.

Sigh.

i just had marketing yesterday. Quite a horrid paper :(

Tomorrow's the purchasing paper. No, actually, Puchasing is in about 7 hours. well. i've studied 7 out of the 9 chapters. and i just can't bring myself to finish up the remaining chapters. i think. its probably because i feel confident. i know that i know Purchasing. and i know i did ALL my tutorials, and i've listened to Mr. Selwyn's Tutorials. i know. i really do.

But i'm just not in the mood la. like. i don't even feel like doing anything.

Although i do feel like taking a shower again. i just took one 4-5 hours ago. and i still smell like Johnson and Johnson Baby Bath (the blue one! My favourite.)

AND. i feel like drinking another cup of milo. i just drank one 4-5 hours ago.

And. i feel like i need to study Purchasing.


Blah.

_________

I CAN'T STOP THINKING.

I don't wanna think. i hate thinking. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it.

which is why i hate you. i hate that you're in my thoughts all the time. i hate, yes hate, that i can't stop thinking about everything. i hate that we have a past way back in 01 and 04. i, ARGH, hate that i gave you so much. i hate the fact that you are so dear to me. i also hate it that i enjoy your company when i'm with you. i, too, hate that you don't wanna hear what i have/want to say. i, very much, hate that you say silly things and i find them laughable. but. love-hate.

I WANT TO STUDY. I WANT TO STUDY. I NEED TO STUDY.


Wow. this is probably the post with the most hatred. O well. it fits anyway.

Arty Kid

Whether you were a drama freak or an emo poet, you definitely were expressive and unique. You're probably a little less weird these days - but even more talented!

Who Were You In High School?


Seriously? haha.

You Are: 90% Dog, 10% Cat

You're a dog at heart - and it's not a bad thing at all! You love unconditionally, and you're extremely loyal. And while you may act silly at times, you're really quite smart - and a good learner!

Are You More Cat or Dog?

okay. This is quite believable. BUT. no one loves unconditionally. So.

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You have a passion for everything - including sleeping. Outgoing and brash, you tend to still shock those who know you well. You tend to be selfish. You are the most likely type to hog the covers. You gravitate toward comfort and don't like extreme situations.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

HAHA! this is quite true i would say. Although i don't think i shock those who know me well. i AM quite predictable. AM I SELFISH!? O yes. i do hog covers. COVERS ARE MINE.

Your Lucky Underwear is Blue

You are caring and extroverted. You've made relationships your number one focus, and your lucky blue underwear can bring some balance to them. You thrive in one-on-one situations. You are a good listener and a natural born therapist. Sometimes you let the concerns of others become too important in your life, leading to stress and worry. If you want more balance, put on your blue underpants. They'll help you take care of yourself first.

What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS. but its pretty true. Hah hah.

YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS.

i AM nervous. everytime i think about _ i feel like all the butterflies from the amazon just flew into my belly. AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

Everytime i try to study i think of _. AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

but i am quite sure this is gonna be the last time we meet. because i think its time for "Fin" and lets just have the credits roll. Sure, you're gonna be on top of the line.

Well. a relief i must say, to know that this is where it ends. i'm kinda hoping it'll only last for .. 3 seconds? okay. i'll give it 5. 5 seconds. No more, maybe less. Then i can move on, and not look back ever. And start studying like mad for marketing.

I'M SO HAPPY! i can't wait for this to end. QUICK. END. END. END. Then i won't have to hope that its you in my phone. NAY. I DON'T LIKE THAT EITHER.

(i understand that i'm not making sense. But yes, thats what my world is like, thats what I am like. And i like me that way :) i Love me that way.)

I'm so hopeful that it'll be quick, fast, and painless. Like ripping off a bandaid. (quoted from F.R.I.E.N.D.S)

Well. It's not You to be dilly dally and draggy. usually I'M the one who's dilly-dally-and-draggy. So. i'm not gonna be that way. And You won't be that way either. Which means everything will be Quick, Fast, and Painless. YAY! Can't Wait.

Sigh now i can only hope that the 3 hours i have would pass faster. 'Cause its making me nervous. AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

My hands and feet are all cold-out. and i'm typing really fast. and i CAN'T STUDY. AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

Come to think of it, i'm not sure why this is gonna be the end. Maybe because i won't have ANY reason to go backwards anymore. but what if i do?

O. now i know why i want it 5 seconds or shorter, because then, no one would have time to say anything, and i won't have to think of ANY response to make. 5 seconds. There won't be time to do anything but the necessary, and the hi-bye. Walk away. Then i won't speak to you, and you won't speak to me either. Because for some reason, You're mad at me, Your Bright Yellow Stress Ball.

I don't know why i bother so much. YOU DRIVE ME NUTS. Soon i'll be singing Bald Britney's "You Drive Me Crazy". i already AM a nut. now you're just making me GO nuts. as if the nuts and popping around like popcorn. SEE. i'm going nuts.

Plus. with the added stress of exams next week. My Jesus - Please Help me.

i think i'm just gonna meet you this one last time, and get the closure i want and need. settles everything. You know, You ALWAYS get angry at me. and then you'd give me your specialty - THE Silent Treatment. You make me feel like crap. ALWAYS. and the thing is, I NEVER know why you get angry. NEVER. is it because you saw me there? or because i ran away? or maybe because i'm not supposed to talk to her? or perhaps, i'm just your bright yellow stress ball which you squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze. and strangely, i never seem to burst (Ha-ha). Well, if i burst, i'd just be bright yellow cotton spongey poofs.

i don't make much sense. but i don't care. because its my BROG. MY brog. Blog. whatever.

I CAN'T STAND YOU. (don't ask me to sit. its just lame-O). WHO are you to treat me this way. i don't deserve this. i DON'T. and i don't see why i should let you treat me this way. But somehow, you ALWAYS make me feel like i deserve this horrible treatment. time and time again i slowly pick up a little bit of self-worth to tell myself i shouldn't be treated this way. AND THEN, you come along, and squeeze your bright yellow stress ball again.

Well. my self-worth lies in My Lord Jesus.

I want to say "YOU SUCK" So much. (YOOO - SARK). but i know you don't. You are like Chocolat Noir. BitterSweet. I really really love your company. so much. we have so much fun together and i wish. i wish we were what we were back in Sec one and two, maybe even Sec 3 when we were in the same english class and i sat behind you. English classes were Great Fun! and then in Sec 4, when english classes were back in my class, Mrs Raj shifted you cos apparantly you were too talkative, so she made you sit beside me. O. HAHA. Wrong move, Mrs Raj. Then there were Shaun, Rocky, Me and You. Haha, it really was great fun. Until. Until.

Until i became your bright yellow stress ball.

Whatever.

You. You make me feel so lousy about myself. You make me feel Sad. You make me feel rejected. You make me feel like i can be on top of the world and then down in the valley the very next moment.

YOU. You brush me off like i'm a bug on your sleeve. You make me feel like i'm special when you just see me as a nobody.

YOU.

I DON'T WANT YOU. I DON'T NEED YOU.


But yet. i love you.

Reunion Dinner

WAS GREAT FUN.

hahahha. Well. Papa invited his colleagues at work to join us for reunion dinner.

A little bit of background info. Papa works in an.. international kitchen. hahaha. he's got colleagues from MANY Countries. and.. he says they always use hand signs to convey messages, because Language seems like a very big barrier here.

So. Papa invited his colleagues to join us for reunion dinner because, most of them have not celebrated CNY before, otherwise, they have no one to celebrate it with. Hence. Well, it was kinda awkward at first, then when familiar people started coming in, it got kinda.. funny! There's Chef Raphael and his partner (who happens to be a reporter for BBC news. Wow.) Richard, and Timo the vietamese who is a Pastry Chef, and there's Ah Liang, and AH RAK, the thai chef. (not the right spelling i think.) and of course, Alvin Choy Chan Yuan, the Singaporean Assistant cook (i think.) Well. some pictures of our steamboat (before the eating.)


Okay. Anyway. The men (MEN, i stress, MEN.) Had SO MUCH FUN playing with the crackers because they were bullying Timo, the Pastry Chef.. They pull a party popper in his pants, at his butt of course. Hahaha. SO MEAN. but they all had fun. Even TIMO had fun.

And then, they started creating a mass.. fixture of crackers. lets see some pictures.




Horrendous.

At the end of the day, we said our goodbyes. and i managed to get two pictures. and two only.

Thats Me and AH RAK! He looks like a bear. but don't be deceived by his bearish looks. he's actually VERY cheeky.


Thats (a blurry) Chef Raphael! :D Who gave me a big hug before he left. Haha. Didn't manage to get a picture with Richard, who also did give a big bear hug.

Okay. LONG post.

There are many things i wanna blog about. Lets see.

1. Chinese New Year (which is tomorrow.)
2. Him and Her. (in my head, they choose to remain annonymous.)
3. Him. ( you'll be asking, "Is that the same Him as above?" and i'll answer, "No comments.")
4. Miscellaneous.

so lets begin.

1. Chinese New Year

Today is the last day before CNY, which is also commonly known as Chu Xi. Which is most commonly known as the last day to do laundry, vacuum and mop the house, and anything else that will.. cause - Cleanliness. (HAHA)
And today i realise my Family's actually quite Ching-Chong-Piang. AND SO LAST MINUTE LA. if you think i do things last minute, please. PLEASE, just look at my family. WE ARE THE BEST I TELL YOU.

Papa woke me up at 10am. had a few mouths of breakfast. and started with all the cleaning. Well my main task was to pack and clean my room. So. i took a few hours to do it. i think about 4 hours. SO LONG LA.

An Unknown Fact about me, well. unknown to most: (Everyone thinks i'm Neat and well-organised and everything. FACT IS I'M NOT. i'm the untidiest person alive i tell you. haha. ask my family. well. i can pack anything and everything thats not mine. i get very irritated when i walk into an untidy room or a dirty place. BUT. BUT. BUT. BUT. i don't care if my room is messy or dirty. whatever. i LIKE MY ROOM MESSY. I LOVE IT MESSY. thats why, i'm the messiest person alive. Believe it, Believe me.)

Anyway. i only pack my room when:
1. Papa nags.
2. Chinese New Year is the next day.
3. Main Exams are coming. (i need to organise my notes and make space to study, so.)

And today. all three are applicable, hence, my room is VERY NEAT and CLEAN. its making me feel uncomfortable - that my room is so clean and neat.

Anyway, talking about last minute work. Papa just went out 2 hours ago to buy CNY decorations (making our house look SO Ching-Chong-Piang) and new bedsheets for all of us. and because of his last-minute-ness, there were no nice bedsheets left. so we got obiang ones. mine's not so bad. you should look at my brother's. Its POLKA DOTTED! not monochrome even. its multi coloured polka dots. BIG POLKA DOTS. O. did i mention the TWO BIG FLOWERS in the middle? Hahhah. like some Nuptial bedsheet (sia).

Okay. so we did ALOT of cleaning today. ALOT of Laundry, ALOT of vacuuming, ALOT of Singing (myself), ALOT of mopping, ALOT of disposing, ALOT of packing, ALOT of wiping, ALOT of climbing up and down, and ALOT of other stuff.

And. i'm beat.

Okay. i'm too tired to type anymore. hence i shall Brog on point 2, 3 and 4 another time.

IF you've just read all of that rubbishy stuff above, well. HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR! :D GEN LOVES YOU! *HUG*

Thank you Jesus

Abba Father.

I thank you for this tremendous oppotunity. and i pray. that i will look to You every single moment - For strength, wisdom, and discernment. Lord i need You. i need Your Holy presence to guide me along.

I want you there. i want you to be in every decision i make. i want my every word to come from You. i need You. I Long for You.

Father i know. i know deep in my soul, this event will not succeed without You, so i plead, that i may never Move an inch away from you, away from the path You've paved for me. Jesus help me. i humbly ask for You to intervene. I make my decision to keep all my plans open for Your intervention.

Lord i thank you for Your prophecy. and i sincerely believe, that with this oppotunity, You will teach me and show me the responsibilities i must take as a leader.

and Lord, as you reveal to me my ugly nature, i pray that you will make it as painless as possible. But through each step of the way, You will teach me to turn from my old nature, into the character You have created me to be.

Lord. i decide today, that i die to my old self. i die to my own rights. i die to my will. i die to my expectations. i die to other pple's expectations of me.

Because i know. Only by death, will i find Your Life, Your love, Your Joy, Your Peace. and above all. You.