Jesus. Love of my life.

Something happened during MGS camp. And on the third day of camp i finally cried it out with Ros by my side (i Love you Ros.) I know some would say it isn't a bad thing, or it isn't wrong. But, it is. Because the Bible says so.

I felt so convicted. And i know it is nothing more than a spiritual attack. Because i could really sense that i was drawing closer to God, Depending more on Him, Trusting Him more, and Loving Him more. And because i was growing, i got spiritually attacked.

I know, i know. Non-believers would think i'm talking gibber-gubber. But believe me, the Devil is real as can be. Just wait and see.

Logic is, if you're not a threat to the Kingdom of darkness (i.e. Not growing spiritually) why would the devil even bother with you. See. The spiritual Realm is a spooky place. But with God's holy presence, i believe, there's nothing to fear. NOTHING.

Anyway. i was on the cab, still feeling and thinking about everything. and The Holy Ghost brought to mind, what Jackie Pullinger said. She said, Everyone has a race to run, and everyone's race is different. No one said the race would be easy, No one. And of course, it will be difficult, there'll be times where you'll trip, stumble and fall. Its okay to fall, its okay to finish your race with bloody knees. Because what matters is that you pick yourself up, and finish the race for Jesus.

And i teared in the cab, Knowing those were God's exact words for me - "It's okay to fall." i knew i had fallen. i knew it from day one. but i refused to admit it. And when i finally did, i felt so convicted.

My spirit was so broken, when i reached the Church Encounter and felt God's holy presence, i couldn't help but cry. and all i did was cry. and i thank God for my spiritual family who hugged me and cried with me even though they knew not what i was crying about. Thats what a spiritual family is for. They're a bunch of people who'll bring you an umbrella in a storm, and possibly get wet with you.

And truly, for the first time, i truly felt my broken spirit. and i cried. and told God i didn't want whatever it was. i Didn't was whatever it was that happened. And God, hahahha, He truly works wonders.

Whatever it was that happened, I'm healed, restored, and i'm resting in the love of God's embrace.

I confessed whatever there was to confess, and i repented. and i'm forgiven! :D

I know. To all you non-believers, you may think i'm kinda nuts-ish about this Whole God-Jesus Thing. To tell you the truth, i Am. i really am. and i wanna go Nuts about God and Jesus and The Holy Spirit.

You think i'm nuts-ish because you think its only a religion, only a belief, and you feel that way because you think you can work things out with your own strength. But dear friend. Christianity, is not a religion. i know. Tons of people say it. But have you ever considered why they say it?

Because its really really not a religion. Its not a belief. Its a Life. its MY life. I know everyone knows there are stuff you can't control, Aren't you scared that there are things you can't control? Who doesn't like to know that everything is in control? But fact of the matter is. Life doesn't work that way. I know it, and you do too.

And come on, Who doesn't know that Life comes with troubles? Its sort of like a package, isn't it? I'm not saying Life as a Christian would be free-and-easy, trouble-free. No. Who ever said that is lying right smack in your face. and yes, you can laugh at that person's face if he/she tells you that.

Everyone's lives comes with troubles, preiods of depression, financial difficulties, emotional struggles, mental breakdowns, i'm sure there are tons more. Whose life doesn't come with all these added ingredients?

Christians get that crap too, all the time. But we know, we know that there's someone there we can depend on, we know that someone's got our back, we know that that someone will never stab us in the back and run away. And needless to say, that someone is Jesus. So, What harm is there, in knowing someone as good as such?

I thank God for my spiritual Family. Everyone. Aunty Betty ( my Spiritual Mummy.), aunty Sophia, Callie, Nancy, Fiona, Jessie, Soh Eng, Prescilia, Sarah, Amy, Geok Yan, Charlyn, Charon, And auntie Pauline. I'm thankful to all. i know there're more. MUCH MUCH MANY MANY more. i love you all.

(i think this is a long post.)

Sure. there are times i think of the possibility of disobeying God, and do what my emotions tell me to. But then i think about abandoning my faith, and everything else of the world grows faint. Because i cannot imagine my life without Jesus. I just can't. Who am i gonna think about when i wake up in the morning? Where will i be going in life? What are my goals gonna be? What am i gonna do? Who am i gonna talk to when i'm sad? Who do i ask for for friends when i need them? Who's gonna be there when everything else fails? When my friends stab me in the back, when my love ones leave me, when everything else crashes, Who's gonna be there? i can't. i can't imagine a life without Jesus. i just can't.

I'm going to heaven when i die. and i can't wait for that day. i don't think there's anything wrong in saying that. Because that's THE day. Its the day i'm gonna meet Jesus, its the day i'm gonna see His face, its the day.

YAYNESS. Blogger is back. seriously. the server's a little Konky. quite frustrating sometimes.

Anyway. This week would be/already is the bee-zee-est (busiest) week of... any random period.

Lets see.

Note: Encounter - something like a church camp. but its more expensive, cos you put up at a hotel. or in this case, YMCA (not too shabby! :D)

Monday - Classes till four. Got materials needed for Church Encounter.
Tuesday (today) - Classes till one. Rushed down to PLMGS for Games Dry run.
Wednesday - Classes till three. To go home, Pack bag (TONS OF STUFF), prepare my prop for Encounter. Rush down to Nanny's to get stuff. Rush down to Ee's to pass some stuff.
Thursday - PLMGS CAMP = Madness, Madness, and More madness.
Friday - Still at PLMGS CAMP! = Tired, and Mad people.
Saturday - PLMGS CAMP until morning. Rush down to Encounter at YMCA.
Sunday - ENCOUNTER! :D possibly, rush down to church for work (if necessary)

So.................................... Big week man.

And i'm doing devotion for second day at PLMGS camp! :D I'm quite pleased about it, cause somehow i feel i'm ready. But i really need need need God's guidance. I think i need Jesus to "ra-ra" the crowd for me. teehee. But i'm really pleased that i volunteered to help Melvin. Cos he seemed pretty.. loaded. :D

But something tells me Melvin will do fine. I think its God telling me that. :)

Thank you Jesus. For Your Unconditional Love, Your Breath of Life which renews us, and above all, The Holy Spirit who is with us every single moment. i love you.

I never thought you'd be one to break my heart but you did. What's with all your bad habits. I know you know what i'm talking about.

You think we don't know. Or you don't wanna think we know. But we know. Because we're your family dammit.

But i believe. i believe nothing i say will change anything - Until you hit your personal bottom. And when you do, we will still be here. Because we're your family.

I Love you. i love you so much. and i can't bring myself to say it. Please Spare a thought for Papa. We all Love you so much.

i wish. i wish you would talk to me. i'm not gonna point fingers and blame you whatsoever. Just talk to me. and i promise i'll listen.

Because i'm your sister. Your only sister.

This is post is dedicated to the LomIG Exco. :D

I think. we are really great :D (yes i'm being big headed) but i think this MainComm is what it is today because of every single one in that picture below.

And this picture. is Love <3.



So here's to (Left to right):
(Back) KaChee. Felicia. Eve. Gek. Karen. Myself. Dean Dear.
(Front) Nat. Smantee. Jessie. Hanqian. Yuwen.

WE ROCK :D

This post is dedicated to Gek :D

Who has helped me change my brog and everything.

AND LOOK AT THAT SPCA BANNER. its Love. <3

HEllo me! :D
Hello LOM Centre 1!
Hello Weegek beside me!
Hello Evelyn and Smantee behind me!


I think there are pros and cons to having the same people in your group for projects.

That was our topic. And thats my opinion.

hehe.

Lets hear what happened at the clinic:

Me: bla bla.. Still on medication for throat infection.. bla bla bla.. Not completed my course of antibiotics.

Doc: O. in that case, you stop that course of antibiotics, and i'll give you another course - for your eyes.

Me: O....................................................... okay.


(Alot more talking.)


Me: So i can still go to school as usual? There's nothing i cannot do right?

Doc: NO. You cannot go out, Cause Conjunc can spread, its contagious. i think 3 days of rest is enough.

Me: O......................................................... okay.


DARN. i really really really don't wanna miss school anymore. so i've just decided. i'm going to school tmr. and i shall warn everyone not to touch their eyes before washing their hands. i don't want my conjunc to spread.


Anyway. Today. i thought it would be safer for me to stay home. so i did. missed church :(
I had nothing to do. so i randomly dragged out my photo albums and started flipping through. I saw.

Many pictures. Pictures of my mum. My dad. myself. my brother. my dog. my GrandmaS. my cousins. and everyone else.

And i just started reminiscing. i realised i miss my mum so much. its been 4, 5 years since she went home. and i know there were times i really missed her. i remembered, a few months after she passed away, and the aftermath was coming at my family full blast. i cried myself to sleep almost every night for a few weeks, hugging my bolster, missing my mummy's goodnight kisses, her laughs, her nagging, her hugs, her. i miss how she would switch off my bedroom lights, walk over to kiss me goodnight, and sometimes she'd lie with me on my bed till i fall asleep.

So. i was just sitting there in my living room with several stacks of dusty photo albums, and i started to cry to myself.

Then i came across photos of the first holiday we took as a family with my maternal aunt and her family. It was the first holiday without mummy. It was the holiday we all needed - to finally take a break, and catch our breaths. I didn't realise it was that particular holiday at first, and i was wondering, How come there aren't shots of my mum. and then it hit me. She was probably in the wind, messing up our hairs.

I was Fourteen when she passed away. Actually 13, she passed a month before my 14th birthday. God, i miss her. I was her Bahbah. and she gave me that name (to all you who call me Bahbah.).

And i'm quite relieved that not one person has ever said "i know how you feel" to me regarding this before. Because, if you haven't lost a mum, you don't know. I thank God i'm not one of those who can't talk about what happened or can't face the truth. I'm open :) if you wanna know more just ask. Its okay. And don't apologise. There's really nothing to be sorry about. Seriously.

Sometimes i think, if mummy didn't pass away. Everything would be different. Everything. But no, :) it was God's will. and i thank God for it. no that i want mummy to die. But, i'm seeing a teensy bit of God's big plan. And. God doesn't make mistakes. *phew*

I know. When people complain about their mummy-s. i know. sometimes mummy-s can be annoying. mine was too! (sometimes la.) (and sometimes i'd really really get angry with her.) but then She's your mummy :) i believe its a divine arrangement that she's your mother. So. you can get angry slash annoyed, whatever. At the end of the day, YOU KNOW nothings gonna change, She's still there. and She will be there. so Love her.


Me to mummy: Mummy i miss you so much. and i really really can't wait to see you again. You must remember me okay. Don't play with the clouds in heaven so much you forget me. I love you. -Bahbah.

Kay. Throat infection, so i can't sing. DARn. i miss singing. and no, don't really care what anyone thinks of my singing. Heh. i sing for Jesus! :D

Anyway. i'm praying that my throat infection won't evolve into Pneumonia. Cos the last time it did. and PNEUMONIA SUCKS. stupid foggy lung.

I wanna share this song. Its a really really special song (to me). Because the first time i heard it, i fell in love with it. But its such an unknown song - No one knows it :( so i couldn't share my joy. And then once, i was talking over the phone with my boyfriend of sec 3, with the song playing on the background, and he heard it, and he said he knew and Liked that song playing in the background. And that Made my day. and of course, it Made more than one day :D. And That boyfriend is special :) Really. Special. :)

So Anyway, its by Savage Garden, Entitled Two Beds and a Coffee Machine: (Enjoy!)

And she takes another step                 
Slowly she opens the door            
Check that he is sleeping
Pick up all the broken glass 
and furniture on the floor                                           
Been up half the night screaming 
now it's time to get away             
Pack up the kids in the car
Another bruise to try and hide
Another alibi to write

Chorus

Another ditch in the road 
You keep moving
Another stop sign  
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast  
Wonder how I ever made it through

Verse

And there are children to think of                
Baby's asleep in the backseat                
Wonder how they'll ever make it 
through this living nightmare             
But the mind is an amazing Thing     
Full of candy dreams and new toys and
another cheap hotel
Two beds and a coffee machine                        
But there are groceries to buy                               
And she knows she'll have to go home 

Chorus

Another ditch in the road 
You keep moving
Another stop sign  
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast  
Wonder how I ever made it through


Gennie Loves you :)

Let me first begin with a shout, such as:

I HEART MAXIMUM RIDE :D

some FYIs, Maximum Ride is a trilogy by James Patterson. (I HEART JP) and yes. i truly enjoy JP's Books. I think, for me, its truly (Horrendously) Difficult to be able to read a book, and FOLLOW THROUGH. Its just difficult la.
and i read at an amazingly slow speed. like that time i was reading Dan Brown's Digital Fortress, i finished it in like 2 weeks or so, and i thought that was super duper fast since it was the fastest i had ever read. So i (Proudly, ahem) told my boyfriend (then) that i finished the book in 2 weeks. And he said, nonchalantly, "i finished it in 2 days dear." And later, i found out that most of my friends who read Digital Fortress finished it within 3 days tops. :(

Anyway. i love love love love love love love love James Patterson's Books. LOVE. They are absolutely page-turners. and sO ADDICTIVE!

In case you don't know JP's genre of stories, he writes thrillers. Mostly Murder/Detective stories. some "Scenes" are quite Gory. Ma-Ma-Mi-ah. (Not that i like Gore. No. i don't really like it.) and i love how his chapters are not longer than 2-3 pages. keeps it brief and nice.


ANYWAY. MAXIMUM RIDE. i'm currently on my second book. and YAY! for the first time i finished a book in 2 days! TWO DAYS!. thats got to be some sort of record or what.

Okay okay. i did it in 2 days because i had a fever last night and the whole of today. thats why i stayed home. And when you're having a fever you get the body aches and head aches, and nausea, and empty stomach, and body aches, and head aches, and O, the fever itself, and feeling cold, feeling hot, feeling bleh-y.

There's nothing much one can do with all that extra baggage. And so. most of the time i'm on my back in my bed, reading MAXIMUM RIDE! and now that i'm done with it, i'm not really happy with myself.

HOW CAN I FINISH IT SO FAST. :< Too dang fast. Now i'm lost. cos there's nothing to do. and i don't read books twice. (Whats the point in reading a book twice?! you know the plot AND the ending. and you've already read it before!!)

So. i'm still feverish. So. So. so. i don't think i'm going school tmr. Shoot. Mr Selwyn Lim's gonna nag me again. -_-

AND yesterday. i went out with Choy and Ros. my two loves. <3

And i did the DiSC test again since there were old ones. AND MY O MY. MY PERSONALITY HAS CHANGED. and this change is just... weird, i think.

Lets see. my first graph (Public Self, or your Mask) says I-S. Which is normal. :D thats me.

BUT my second graph (Private Self) (Means who i really am), says S-C-I. THATS SO DIFFERENT.
All my three graphs used to be I-S. I've changed so much!! to think my S and C (even) is higher than my I. shock shock shock. And as Mika would sing, Shock Shock Me, Shock Shock Me. (Love today)

okay. if you don't know the DiSC thing, All of the above i just Bla-ed would sound like Hippopotamuses Haw-hee-ing in your head.

And. i'm lazy. and i can't be bothered to explain the whole DiSC thing here. so i'd do it again some other time.



O YAY! Papa just called to take my dinner order to buy food back for me. Lets see.

Today i've eaten

1. two cups of Homemade Barley (BLEAH)
2. 3 Crackers (throat was screaming in pain so i had to stop.)
3. one mouth of milo (Stupid fever made me feel nauseous. so i threw the whole cup away.)
4. 3 Braised Peanuts. (ALL my efforts into opening that can. and then 3 nuts and i felt nauseous. AM I PREGNANT OR WAHT)
5. Nothing else.

Thats one Hell Of an appetite Bay-beh!. :D

Okay. i'm gonna bathe, again. Blah.


Byebye you! :D (And, you must be really free to read all the above i've just randomly typed. Have a good day! :D)

The illusionist. - WATCH IT BAY-BEH.

this show. is bloody good. (blo-deh-goood)

and Myojo Tom Yam flavoured Instant Noodles - Fantabudeliciouslous.



Bravo to Edward Norton, and the creator of Myojo Thai Tom Yam Noods.

Her Hundredth Post.

You gave me my first bouquet of flowers and my first bag of biscuits. Thank you :) it stays in my head forever.

You were late, we were supposed to go to church. and when you came. you said "damn. i'm so gonna regret not getting that cute girl's number when i wake up tmr feeling normal". i was nonchalant. but in my head, you were dead as a meatloaf.

You shouted in exasperation, "Can you not call my house phone. you woke everyone up." i'm sorry.

You told her you didn't love me. :) i still wonder.

You told her you wanted to be with her because you were my number five, but you were her number one. Did you not know, you were my number one? :)

It saddens me to think you used to compare yourself to him. i never did.

I remember. We were at the stairs, it was after church, and you told me what you told me. i will always remember the way you looked when you told me you were sorry. :) i love you.

It was after school, on 315. I got on the bus, and you were there with her. And she told me you got angry because i lied. did i?

When you came back from your holiday and found out everything, why didn't you answer my calls? Why didn't you come out to meet me when i was in the rain at your door? Was that not enough?

I remember. the first time i went to your place, it was raining. and you ran out to pick me up :) i love walking with you in the rain.

I remember. You called to ask if i was comfortable with her staying over at your place and i trusted you with everything.

I bought you an apple pie. and left it on your desk when you were sleeping. You were holding your phone. (i'm sorry). i picked it up and saw you were reading my messages. salty tears man.

We only took two pictures together. and you never wanted to keep any of them. i still wonder why.

I remember. The first time i saw you after everything was when Rocky and i met Lisa at gardens and she told us you were back in Motherland. Rocky insisted that we visit you since you were only back for a short while.We bought Bacardi and finished it on the way to your place. i was so nervous my head was bursting.

I mustered two years worth of courage and frustration. and said i wanted to talk. and you brushed me off and said you didn't feel like talking. it all felt so familiar. so familiar.

I wonder, why i still love you.

Joshua Radin - The fear you won't fall:

And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you
I know you're scared that I'll soon be over it
That's part of it all
Part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall

To you:
Please don't ever feel bad. i miss you. i wish we could be what we used to be. i want you back. i love you.


To you:
I missed you. and i feel like i'm back where i was. what we have now is precious. so precious. i love you.


And yet another song. The Hereafter - Back where i was:

i could not think
i decided i should hideaway
so i did
i did what i could
i did what i did
because it was easy
and i was surprised
before i knew it
i was back where i was


he ran off to forget
i ran off to remember
and when it hit me
i could not sleep
i decided i should hideaway
so i did
i did what i could
i did what i did
because you love me
and i was surprised
before i knew it
i was back where i was


this is pure emo. ignore me.

EVer since i got to know that James Patterson books were made into movies, the first actor which came to mind suitable for the role of Alex Cross was/is (still is.) DENZEL WASHINGTON (Blush. Ha-Ha. Whatever la.)

And then. here's what i read at www.jamespatterson.com under Movie Picks (here):

Deja Vu – I'm a huge Denzel Washington fan and I know a lot of readers would love to see him take a shot at Alex Cross. As always, he's flawless in this role. The movie starts with a bang—literally—but then it gets seriously off the tracks, at least for me.



YAY!!!! i really really wish/hope one day. Denzel Washington will play Alex Cross in a film based on one of James Patterson's books.

Maybe. Maybe.

Kiss the Girls?

OH! OH! i know. MARY MARY!!

How bout. CROSS!

maybe. VIOLETS ARE BLUE!!

can't wait. can't wait. can't wait.

Good Friday! :)

I spent the morning in bed. Waiting for Choy to come. and then we went out for lunch, bought some groceries, and ingredients, fought over who should pay, came back, baked, MADE A SERIOUS MESS (CHOY'S IDEA), and packed our stuff, he left, i washed the toilet, scrubbed, bathed, sat down, did my quiet time, started blogging, THERE! :D a whole day's worth.

Since its Good Friday, i shall blog about my quiet-time passage today.

Scripture:

(i wish i could type the whole bible, because i know any of you (readers, if there are any.) who has problems would be able to find your answers in this little book of small words. Read it, it'll bo-low (blow) Your mind.)

Anyway,

The soldiers took Jesus into the courtyard of the governor's headquarters (called the Praetorium) and called out the entire regiment. Ther dressed him in a purple robe, and the wove thorn branches into a crown and put it on his head. Then they saluted him and taunted, "Hail! King of the Jews!" And they struck him on the head with a reed stick, spit on him, and dropped to their knees in mock worship. When they were finally tired of mocking him, they took off the purple robe and put his own clothes on him again. Then they led him away to be crucified.

... they brought Jesus to a place called Golgotha (which means "Place of the Skull"). They offered him wine drugged with myrrh, but he refused it. Then the soldiers nailed him to the cross. They divided his clothes and threw dice to decide who would get each piece. It was nine o'clock in the morning when they crucified him. A sign was fastened to the cross, announcing the charge against him. It read, "The King of the Jews." Two revolutionaries were crucified with him, one on his right and one on his left.

The people passing by shouted abuse, shaking their heads in mackery. "Ha! Look at you now!" they yelled at him. "You said you were going to destroy the Temple and rebuild it in three days. Well then, save yourself and come down from the cross!"

The leading priests and teachers of religious law also mocked Jesus. "He saved the others," the scoffed, "but he can't save himself! Let thei Messiah, this King of Israel, come down from the cross so we can see it and believe him!" Even the men who were crucified with Jesus ridiculed him.

At noon, darkness fell across the whole land until three o'clock. Then at three o'clock Jesus called out with a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?" which means "My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?"

Some of the bystanders misunderstood and thought he was calling for prophet Elijah. One of them ran and filled a sponge with sour wine, holding it up to him on a reed stick so he could drink. "Wait!" he said. "Let's see whether Elijah comes to take him down!"

Then Jesus uttered another loud cry and breathed his last. And the curtain in the sanctuary of the Temple was torn in two, from top to bottom.

When the Roman officer who stood facing him saw how he had died, he exclaimed, "This man truly was the Son of God!"


Me-Thoughts:

Well. Did you think Jesus was unable to save himself when he was crucified? You think Jesus couldn't come down from the cross? i think not.

i think, With a twitch of his eyebrow he could have had Legions of angels come down to save him. i think, with a blink - no, HALF a blink of his right/left eye, he could have taken the lives of those who flogged him. (i could go on)

My point is, Jesus DIDN'T have to do it. He DIDN'T have to go through with it. He didn't.


But he did. Simply because, he loves you. YOU. You and me. You - reading this. He did so much for your salvation, he was willing to be flogged (ouch) Humiliated, stripped, spit on, have rusty nails hammered into his feet and arms, have a crown of thorns pierced into his head, and everything else, for YOU. for those people who scoffed at him.

He went through all that for those passer-bys who mocked and ridiculed him.

And he did it all out of Love.

I don't know how else to interpret my thoughts to convince YOU that he loves you.

i know some people say things like, "Nah. God doesn't want me. He hates me. I'm such a bad boy/girl. He won't even look at me"

And to that, i say "RUBBISH". God is constantly looking out for you. and you know it just breaks his heart when you say God hates you, and doesn't want you, when he went thru all that pain, suffering and humiliation TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU.

You think he came down for the goody-two-shoes? you think he came down to condemn the baddies? You think he came down from ALL his comforts and riches to kill and slay people who don't meet his standards?

Well. to that, i'd say, PLEASE LAR. HE CAN DO THAT UP IN HEAVEN.

But, thing is, GOd is not like that. HE ISN'T. HE NEVER WAS.

God wants you more than ever. So don't run away from Him.

Lets Rewind a little beet (bit).


The day before yesterday. i feel down from a bus. yes. its funny ( i laughed at myself.) and its painful. could only sit on ONE butt cheek. and the slightest brush or accidental tap on my hip/butt would give you a Banshee (HAHA. a beet o' Drama. But heck. thats me.)

and when i came home, after a while, a second bruise surfaced. and now the bruise is the size of one square of toilet paper. yes. i know its big.

Many daily matters have been met with much inconveniece. A very applicable example: Wearing pants/Underpants. seriously. Another Banshee.

At Night, it hurts when my blanket rests on top of the bruise.

O well. The bruise is still swelling. not that its incresing in size, but its still swollen. and. its a disgusting shade of very very Dark purple.

I know, i know. Go see a doctor. but if you were in my shoes/butt, you'd probably not see a doctor. Because: it's Only a bruise what..............................................

Well. an update now: i'm discovering new bruises! i think there are two on my back. and one on my arm. there aren't discolourations. but i can feel the "groaning" pain. So.

Bruises.

And i hope some skin will grow back soon on my skinlessness. it stings when i bathe.


Sigh. I know. i know. don't ask me why i can get so clumsy. its not like i planned on falling from a height higher or equivalent to mine.

i just realised. alot of my blogthings "conclusions" or "answers" or "results". are. mostly the same as my brother. hmmmmmmmm.

lets see a few more. (these are really addictive. and Short! :D)

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you. Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible. While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks. Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.

What Color Green Are You?

You Are a Peanut Butter Jelly Bean

You get along well with all sorts of flavors - and people. You may feel ordinary at times, but you're still loved by (almost) all.

What Flavor Jelly Bean Are You?

Your Monster Profile

Evil Gaze You Feast On: Bananas You Lurk Around In: Olive Gardens You Especially Like to Torment: Vegans

What's Your Monster Name?

HAHAHAHAHA. THIS ONE'S FUNNY. I HATE BANANAS. AND i torment VEGANS?! HAHAHAH.

You Are Cameo

You are understanding and very empathetic. You don't tend to have acquaintances. Everyone is your friend. And all of your friends tend to be friends. You have a knack for bringing very different people together.

What Color Orange Are You?

You are Ocean Blue

You're both warm and practical. You're very driven, but you're also very well rounded. You tend to see both sides to every issue, and people consider you a natural diplomat.

What Color Blue Are You?

A natural diplomat?? HAHA. don't kid me.

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I can pass this guy."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

There's a question in this test - "How do you think you will die? - got me thinking quite a bit. you should try it.

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable. You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

You Are a Caramel Crunch Donut

You're a complex creature, and you're guilty of complicating things for fun. You've been known to sit around pondering the meaning of life... Or at times, pondering the meaning of your doughnut. To frost or not to frost? To fill or not to fill? These are your eternal questions.

What Donut Are You?

You May Be a Bit Schizotypal...

A bit odd and socially isolated. You couldn't care less of what others think. And some of your beliefs are a little weird. Like that time you thought you were Jesus.

What Personality Disorder Are You?

HAHAHAHAHHA. O MY GOSH.


Beware people.

teehee

To Kill some time, i decided to watch a random movie from Realplayer. they have free movies, but most (actually all of them) are non-famous films. So. i picked Zhou Yu's Train (Zhou Yu de Huo Che).



It's a Mandarin Art-Fart Film. i Like it :)

It's one of those films - You either love it, or you hate it.

If you ever get to watch it, remember: I Like the Vet (Zhang Qiang).

Some Information:

Cast: Zhou Yu (Played by Gong Li)
Chen Qing (PLayed by Tony Leung)
Zhang Qiang (Played by Sun Hong Lei)
Xiu (Played by Gong Li)

(Narrated by Gong Li.)

The Main idea:

Zhou Yu - an artisan falls in love with Chen Qing - a Poet. She travels twice a week to visit him (tons of sex. thats why its rated PG13.) anyway. Their passion soon stagnates. ARGH. it's too difficult to summarize a film into a few sentences. So, go watch it yourself.




The story is set in Chongyang, China about a romantic relationship between a woman Zhou Yu and her poet lover Chen Ching. Gong Li played two characters in the movie only differ by their hair styles. The movie is pieced together with many flashbacks in no particular chronological order. The director led the audience to believe that the two women were the same person at different time. Only at the end of the movie, it was revealed that the two women were unrelated. Anyone who doesn't watch the plot closely might be totally confused by the way the movie was presented. - Wikipedia


Full Synopsis : Click HERE

Ah. Taiwan. i miss it. and i miss staying in Hotels with Choy and Ting. No matter how lousy the rooms are, their presence just makes everything better. Strange.

Shall blog about Taiwan when i get Choy's and Ting's pictures. YAY! Can't wait!

something Random:

You Are Expressionism

Moody, emotional, and even a bit angsty... you certainly know how to express your emotions. At times, you tend to lack perspective on your life, probably as a result of looking inward too much. This introspection does give you a flair for the dramatic. And it's even maybe made you cultivate some artistic talents! You have a true artist's temperament... which is a blessing and a curse.

What Art Movement Are You?

You Are a Creative Gift Giver

Your gifts are one of a kind, special, and well chosen. Whether you've made it yourself or searched all over town... There's really no one who has more of a personal touch than you.

What Kind of Gift Giver Are You?

What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You

You are very independent and self-centered. You don't solve other people's problems - and you don't expect them to solve yours. Your idea of fashion is jeans and a t-shirt. Clean, if you're lucky. You are a little shy and easily embarrassed. You often wonder if you are normal. In relationships, you are practical and realistic. You have a romantic side, but you only let it out when it's appropriate.

What Do Your Bathroom Habits Say About You?

Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)

Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive. Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

Your Sloth Quotient: 54%

You're definitely lazier than the average person, but you're able to live a somewhat normal life. All your life needs is a little more effort and variety, and you might see that doing hard things is actually fun!

How Much Sloth Do You Have?

There we go! This is definitely lazy me.

Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant Garde

You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog. You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head. Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent. You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

|
this is hardly accurate. go figure what is.

You Communicate With Your Body

This isn't as bad as it sounds, it just means that you're a "touchy-feely" person. You need a lot of affection in your life. And for you, this means both giving and receiving little touches. Warm hearted, you bond with people easily. In fact, you often feel a little sad when you're not in the company of others. A little moody, you tend to be controlled by your emotions. But a bit hug always comforts you!

How Do You Communicate?

|
the above is... true. hmph.

You Should Be an Actor

You have a flair for the dramatic, and you probably already do a lot of acting in your day to day life, just to entertain yourself. No need to steal the spotlight from your friends... You'll get plenty of attention once you start acting professionally!

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

|
Ha-ha-ha. my my.

Your French Name is:

Papillon Bergevin

What's Your French Name?

|
Funny. i thought my French name was Genevieve.

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind. You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

|
Gimme the Dye.

You Are 68% Intuitive

You are a very intuitive person. And luckily, your intuition is normally right. You're wise enough to know that relying on intuition alone can be dangerous. When your intuition seems really off, you tend to ignore it - and look at the facts instead.

How Intuitive Are You?

You Are 55% Indie

You're pretty indie, but you don't make a fuss letting everyone know. You just do what you like. You enjoy many types of things - from trendy to bizarre.

How Indie Are You?

You Are "Dizzy and Giddy"

What Japanese Smiley Are You?

Your Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system. And while this may not seem big, it can be. It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes. You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

SERIOUSLY?




Kay. that's it for now. gonna bathe.




i miss tee ay ai double u ay en. with see hedge oh wai and tee ai en jee.

With Regards to the post on my Reunion dinner.. and the guests who came, Lets see.

Chef Raphael, whom i've taken a picture with, has cooked for..

(I quoted this from his blog. and no, i don't think anyone would lie about this because his Resume IS on the webby itself, so.
i actually deleted the MANY MANY MANY which i don't know. and these are just those whose names May/ may not sound familiar.)

"French President Jaques Chirac, Sandra Bullock, President of the Senate Gabon (Africa), Princess Yasmine Aga Khan, Muhammad Ali, Royal Family of Saudi Arabia, Bruce Webber, His Majesty King Baudouin of Belgium, Barbara Hendricks, Nancy Reagan, Ann Archer, David Bowie, Pierre Cardin, Mariah Carey, Uri Geller, Paula Abdul, Their Royal Highnesses Prince Charles and Lady Diana, L.A. Lakers Basketball Team, Cher, Ann-Nicole Smith, President and Mrs. Clinton, Giorgio Armani, Natalie Cole, Tom Cruise, Geena Davis, Robert De Niro, Fabio (yes, I did), Danny De Vito, Cameron Diaz, Kirk Douglas, Michael Jackson, Bob Dylan, Robert Evans, Her Royal Highness Princess Maha Chakri Sirindhorn of Thailand, Alan Ball, Alan Poul, Steven Spielberg, Barbra Streisand, Harrison Ford, President and Mrs. Gerald R. Ford, Michael J. Fox, James Garner, Shirley Temple, Bill Gates, David Geffen, Mel Gibson, President and Mrs. Ford, Julia Roberts, Tom Hanks, Claude Montana, Sir Anthony Hopkins, Sarah Jessica Parker, Don Henley, Leonardo di Caprio, Arthur Mendoza, the Spice Girls, Caroll Burnett, Tommy Hilfiger, Barron Hilton, Dustin Hoffman, Julianne Moore, Meryl Streep, Tom Cruise, Helen Hunt, Janet Jackson, Paul Beaucuse, Mick Jagger, Randal Kleiser, Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Madonna, Playboy Mansion, Ann Margaret, Vivienne Westwood, Steve Martin, Devine, Ellen de Generes, Demi Moore, Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino, Palais Jada Pinkett, Herb Ritts, Winona Ryder, Arnold Schwarzennegger, Sidney Sheldon, Brooke Shields, Will Smith, Aaron Spelling, Rod Stewart, Sharon Stone, Elizabeth Taylor, John Travolta, Naomi Cambell, Tina Turner, Nicole Kidman, Heidi Klum, Richard Gere, Naomi Watts, George Michael, House of Hermes, Elton John, Bruce Villanche, and many more. "

MY GOSh. Big shot ay?. thats my dad's executive Chef. and i heard he (Chef Raphael) used to be Arnold Schwarzennegger's Private Chef.

Anyway. i remembered he brought a friend, Richard, whom i (later that night) found out, works for CNN. So. i got bored, and i went Googled his name - Richard Quest. My Goodness: http://edition.cnn.com/CNN/anchors_reporters/quest.richard.html

(Whispers: He has his own show on CNN.)

(Whispers Again.: They were both in my humble abode.)

(Whispers, Yet, again.: i bear-hugged them both. HAHAHAHAHHAHA. O, What the hell.)

Well.well.

Sigh.

i just had marketing yesterday. Quite a horrid paper :(

Tomorrow's the purchasing paper. No, actually, Puchasing is in about 7 hours. well. i've studied 7 out of the 9 chapters. and i just can't bring myself to finish up the remaining chapters. i think. its probably because i feel confident. i know that i know Purchasing. and i know i did ALL my tutorials, and i've listened to Mr. Selwyn's Tutorials. i know. i really do.

But i'm just not in the mood la. like. i don't even feel like doing anything.

Although i do feel like taking a shower again. i just took one 4-5 hours ago. and i still smell like Johnson and Johnson Baby Bath (the blue one! My favourite.)

AND. i feel like drinking another cup of milo. i just drank one 4-5 hours ago.

And. i feel like i need to study Purchasing.


Blah.

_________

I CAN'T STOP THINKING.

I don't wanna think. i hate thinking. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it.

which is why i hate you. i hate that you're in my thoughts all the time. i hate, yes hate, that i can't stop thinking about everything. i hate that we have a past way back in 01 and 04. i, ARGH, hate that i gave you so much. i hate the fact that you are so dear to me. i also hate it that i enjoy your company when i'm with you. i, too, hate that you don't wanna hear what i have/want to say. i, very much, hate that you say silly things and i find them laughable. but. love-hate.

I WANT TO STUDY. I WANT TO STUDY. I NEED TO STUDY.


Wow. this is probably the post with the most hatred. O well. it fits anyway.

Arty Kid

Whether you were a drama freak or an emo poet, you definitely were expressive and unique. You're probably a little less weird these days - but even more talented!

Who Were You In High School?


Seriously? haha.

You Are: 90% Dog, 10% Cat

You're a dog at heart - and it's not a bad thing at all! You love unconditionally, and you're extremely loyal. And while you may act silly at times, you're really quite smart - and a good learner!

Are You More Cat or Dog?

okay. This is quite believable. BUT. no one loves unconditionally. So.

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You have a passion for everything - including sleeping. Outgoing and brash, you tend to still shock those who know you well. You tend to be selfish. You are the most likely type to hog the covers. You gravitate toward comfort and don't like extreme situations.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

HAHA! this is quite true i would say. Although i don't think i shock those who know me well. i AM quite predictable. AM I SELFISH!? O yes. i do hog covers. COVERS ARE MINE.

Your Lucky Underwear is Blue

You are caring and extroverted. You've made relationships your number one focus, and your lucky blue underwear can bring some balance to them. You thrive in one-on-one situations. You are a good listener and a natural born therapist. Sometimes you let the concerns of others become too important in your life, leading to stress and worry. If you want more balance, put on your blue underpants. They'll help you take care of yourself first.

What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS. but its pretty true. Hah hah.

YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS.

i AM nervous. everytime i think about _ i feel like all the butterflies from the amazon just flew into my belly. AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

Everytime i try to study i think of _. AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

but i am quite sure this is gonna be the last time we meet. because i think its time for "Fin" and lets just have the credits roll. Sure, you're gonna be on top of the line.

Well. a relief i must say, to know that this is where it ends. i'm kinda hoping it'll only last for .. 3 seconds? okay. i'll give it 5. 5 seconds. No more, maybe less. Then i can move on, and not look back ever. And start studying like mad for marketing.

I'M SO HAPPY! i can't wait for this to end. QUICK. END. END. END. Then i won't have to hope that its you in my phone. NAY. I DON'T LIKE THAT EITHER.

(i understand that i'm not making sense. But yes, thats what my world is like, thats what I am like. And i like me that way :) i Love me that way.)

I'm so hopeful that it'll be quick, fast, and painless. Like ripping off a bandaid. (quoted from F.R.I.E.N.D.S)

Well. It's not You to be dilly dally and draggy. usually I'M the one who's dilly-dally-and-draggy. So. i'm not gonna be that way. And You won't be that way either. Which means everything will be Quick, Fast, and Painless. YAY! Can't Wait.

Sigh now i can only hope that the 3 hours i have would pass faster. 'Cause its making me nervous. AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

My hands and feet are all cold-out. and i'm typing really fast. and i CAN'T STUDY. AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

Come to think of it, i'm not sure why this is gonna be the end. Maybe because i won't have ANY reason to go backwards anymore. but what if i do?

O. now i know why i want it 5 seconds or shorter, because then, no one would have time to say anything, and i won't have to think of ANY response to make. 5 seconds. There won't be time to do anything but the necessary, and the hi-bye. Walk away. Then i won't speak to you, and you won't speak to me either. Because for some reason, You're mad at me, Your Bright Yellow Stress Ball.

I don't know why i bother so much. YOU DRIVE ME NUTS. Soon i'll be singing Bald Britney's "You Drive Me Crazy". i already AM a nut. now you're just making me GO nuts. as if the nuts and popping around like popcorn. SEE. i'm going nuts.

Plus. with the added stress of exams next week. My Jesus - Please Help me.

i think i'm just gonna meet you this one last time, and get the closure i want and need. settles everything. You know, You ALWAYS get angry at me. and then you'd give me your specialty - THE Silent Treatment. You make me feel like crap. ALWAYS. and the thing is, I NEVER know why you get angry. NEVER. is it because you saw me there? or because i ran away? or maybe because i'm not supposed to talk to her? or perhaps, i'm just your bright yellow stress ball which you squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze. and strangely, i never seem to burst (Ha-ha). Well, if i burst, i'd just be bright yellow cotton spongey poofs.

i don't make much sense. but i don't care. because its my BROG. MY brog. Blog. whatever.

I CAN'T STAND YOU. (don't ask me to sit. its just lame-O). WHO are you to treat me this way. i don't deserve this. i DON'T. and i don't see why i should let you treat me this way. But somehow, you ALWAYS make me feel like i deserve this horrible treatment. time and time again i slowly pick up a little bit of self-worth to tell myself i shouldn't be treated this way. AND THEN, you come along, and squeeze your bright yellow stress ball again.

Well. my self-worth lies in My Lord Jesus.

I want to say "YOU SUCK" So much. (YOOO - SARK). but i know you don't. You are like Chocolat Noir. BitterSweet. I really really love your company. so much. we have so much fun together and i wish. i wish we were what we were back in Sec one and two, maybe even Sec 3 when we were in the same english class and i sat behind you. English classes were Great Fun! and then in Sec 4, when english classes were back in my class, Mrs Raj shifted you cos apparantly you were too talkative, so she made you sit beside me. O. HAHA. Wrong move, Mrs Raj. Then there were Shaun, Rocky, Me and You. Haha, it really was great fun. Until. Until.

Until i became your bright yellow stress ball.

Whatever.

You. You make me feel so lousy about myself. You make me feel Sad. You make me feel rejected. You make me feel like i can be on top of the world and then down in the valley the very next moment.

YOU. You brush me off like i'm a bug on your sleeve. You make me feel like i'm special when you just see me as a nobody.

YOU.

I DON'T WANT YOU. I DON'T NEED YOU.


But yet. i love you.

Reunion Dinner

WAS GREAT FUN.

hahahha. Well. Papa invited his colleagues at work to join us for reunion dinner.

A little bit of background info. Papa works in an.. international kitchen. hahaha. he's got colleagues from MANY Countries. and.. he says they always use hand signs to convey messages, because Language seems like a very big barrier here.

So. Papa invited his colleagues to join us for reunion dinner because, most of them have not celebrated CNY before, otherwise, they have no one to celebrate it with. Hence. Well, it was kinda awkward at first, then when familiar people started coming in, it got kinda.. funny! There's Chef Raphael and his partner (who happens to be a reporter for BBC news. Wow.) Richard, and Timo the vietamese who is a Pastry Chef, and there's Ah Liang, and AH RAK, the thai chef. (not the right spelling i think.) and of course, Alvin Choy Chan Yuan, the Singaporean Assistant cook (i think.) Well. some pictures of our steamboat (before the eating.)


Okay. Anyway. The men (MEN, i stress, MEN.) Had SO MUCH FUN playing with the crackers because they were bullying Timo, the Pastry Chef.. They pull a party popper in his pants, at his butt of course. Hahaha. SO MEAN. but they all had fun. Even TIMO had fun.

And then, they started creating a mass.. fixture of crackers. lets see some pictures.




Horrendous.

At the end of the day, we said our goodbyes. and i managed to get two pictures. and two only.

Thats Me and AH RAK! He looks like a bear. but don't be deceived by his bearish looks. he's actually VERY cheeky.


Thats (a blurry) Chef Raphael! :D Who gave me a big hug before he left. Haha. Didn't manage to get a picture with Richard, who also did give a big bear hug.

Okay. LONG post.

There are many things i wanna blog about. Lets see.

1. Chinese New Year (which is tomorrow.)
2. Him and Her. (in my head, they choose to remain annonymous.)
3. Him. ( you'll be asking, "Is that the same Him as above?" and i'll answer, "No comments.")
4. Miscellaneous.

so lets begin.

1. Chinese New Year

Today is the last day before CNY, which is also commonly known as Chu Xi. Which is most commonly known as the last day to do laundry, vacuum and mop the house, and anything else that will.. cause - Cleanliness. (HAHA)
And today i realise my Family's actually quite Ching-Chong-Piang. AND SO LAST MINUTE LA. if you think i do things last minute, please. PLEASE, just look at my family. WE ARE THE BEST I TELL YOU.

Papa woke me up at 10am. had a few mouths of breakfast. and started with all the cleaning. Well my main task was to pack and clean my room. So. i took a few hours to do it. i think about 4 hours. SO LONG LA.

An Unknown Fact about me, well. unknown to most: (Everyone thinks i'm Neat and well-organised and everything. FACT IS I'M NOT. i'm the untidiest person alive i tell you. haha. ask my family. well. i can pack anything and everything thats not mine. i get very irritated when i walk into an untidy room or a dirty place. BUT. BUT. BUT. BUT. i don't care if my room is messy or dirty. whatever. i LIKE MY ROOM MESSY. I LOVE IT MESSY. thats why, i'm the messiest person alive. Believe it, Believe me.)

Anyway. i only pack my room when:
1. Papa nags.
2. Chinese New Year is the next day.
3. Main Exams are coming. (i need to organise my notes and make space to study, so.)

And today. all three are applicable, hence, my room is VERY NEAT and CLEAN. its making me feel uncomfortable - that my room is so clean and neat.

Anyway, talking about last minute work. Papa just went out 2 hours ago to buy CNY decorations (making our house look SO Ching-Chong-Piang) and new bedsheets for all of us. and because of his last-minute-ness, there were no nice bedsheets left. so we got obiang ones. mine's not so bad. you should look at my brother's. Its POLKA DOTTED! not monochrome even. its multi coloured polka dots. BIG POLKA DOTS. O. did i mention the TWO BIG FLOWERS in the middle? Hahhah. like some Nuptial bedsheet (sia).

Okay. so we did ALOT of cleaning today. ALOT of Laundry, ALOT of vacuuming, ALOT of Singing (myself), ALOT of mopping, ALOT of disposing, ALOT of packing, ALOT of wiping, ALOT of climbing up and down, and ALOT of other stuff.

And. i'm beat.

Okay. i'm too tired to type anymore. hence i shall Brog on point 2, 3 and 4 another time.

IF you've just read all of that rubbishy stuff above, well. HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR! :D GEN LOVES YOU! *HUG*

Thank you Jesus

Abba Father.

I thank you for this tremendous oppotunity. and i pray. that i will look to You every single moment - For strength, wisdom, and discernment. Lord i need You. i need Your Holy presence to guide me along.

I want you there. i want you to be in every decision i make. i want my every word to come from You. i need You. I Long for You.

Father i know. i know deep in my soul, this event will not succeed without You, so i plead, that i may never Move an inch away from you, away from the path You've paved for me. Jesus help me. i humbly ask for You to intervene. I make my decision to keep all my plans open for Your intervention.

Lord i thank you for Your prophecy. and i sincerely believe, that with this oppotunity, You will teach me and show me the responsibilities i must take as a leader.

and Lord, as you reveal to me my ugly nature, i pray that you will make it as painless as possible. But through each step of the way, You will teach me to turn from my old nature, into the character You have created me to be.

Lord. i decide today, that i die to my old self. i die to my own rights. i die to my will. i die to my expectations. i die to other pple's expectations of me.

Because i know. Only by death, will i find Your Life, Your love, Your Joy, Your Peace. and above all. You.

Bangkok Bangkok

I had so much fun. =) truly. a great experience. so. i've decided to blog it all down before i forget anything. so. its gonna be el-oh-en-jee.

hmmm. i remembered being Uber excited a day before the trip. i felt like i could pop with excitement anytime. Kept trying to imagine what the Forum would be like, Kept thinking what Mrs Wee, HanQian, Jonathan and KokTeng would be like. HAhha.

Day Negative One.

i was messaging HanQian alot, i remember. and it was also the day i found out that Karine wasn't going with us. and Hence, i'll be sharing the hotel room with only HQ. and then, there was alot of panicking about the travel insurance, because i was actually waiting for a reply from Karine to decide who'll buy the insurance for everyone. O well. i bought the insurance for everyone! HAhaHAH!

Day Zero.

I WAS SO EXCITED. i made a list of all the stuff i had to pack. and i started packing la. then i realised there wasn't much to pack, luggage was pretty empty. but i remembered that Gek said he had LOTS to pack. and so i re-packed. and re-listed. hahhaha. there wasn't much to pack la. after all the fuss fuss about the packing, i wanted to catch an early night since i'd be waking up at about 5 am the next day for my morning flight. THEN. Papa came and asked me to help him re-format his mp3 player. (hahaha) O well, we did it together. and in the end i slept at about 2am.

Day ONE! (O YEH!)

I WAS STILL SO EXCITED. goodness. i woke up on time, and took a cab down to Changi airport T1. met Gek at about 6.45am for breakfast - We had BK! then we went up to meet HQ and KT. BUT instead of finding HQ and KT, we met Jon. HAHHA. kay. then KT AND HQ appeared from the seats. SO!. we were all there. except Mrs Wee. hahahhaha. we thought she'd be the earliest.

Then we checked in. Mrs Wee then went to get her daily dose of coffee, while The rest of us went to shop/jalan jalan. We went to ermm... the duty free alcohol shops. then we walked some more. and Jon went to buy cards. and we went to play daidee/taitee/taidee/daitee. hahaha. then Mrs Wee (once again.) came later than expected. and she totally missed us even though we were (conspicuously) sitting in a circle just outside the place to check in ( gate D5).

So! we boarded the plane. it was me, Jon, KT [aisle] Gek, HQ, Mrs Wee. the plane took off. and once the seatbelt lights went off, Mrs wee immediately got up to go meet her friend from 10 years ago who was on the same flight. hahahhahaha. okay. enough of plane business.

We got off the plane and HELLO THAILAND! SA-WA-DI-KAAAAA!

We then went to get a mini bus taxi to bring us to our hotel. and on the way there, we (Mrs Wee, Hq and myself) started to talk about Mrs Wee's children (Fabian and Freda). then we went on to discuss the ages of our other lecturers and tutors. (My dip is small. so we're pretty close-knit. and we only have a few lecturers/tutors.) there was lots of laughing, then the guys joined in the conversation too! HHAHAH. it was funny la.

Then we checked in to our hotel - TAWANA. it was quite okay. very normal rooms, quite clean! :) and the staff were pretty friendly. i remembered on the last day (Day Three), when we were leaving the hotel, we got into cabs while the bellboy (bellman, actually.) helped carry our luggages into the boot. and when i was in the taxi, i waved frantically at the bellman (to say goodbye.). and he waved (a little frantically, too.) back. HAHHA. and i comically sent him a flying kiss. and he comically sent one back too, before breaking into laughs. hahhaha. i think i miss bangkok already.

i'm sleepy. and getting tired of talking in sequence. hence i shall not sequence-talk/blog.

Well. we did a little shopping at MBK on day one, we had lunch there. and we had to go back earlier to help out at the Supply Chain Asia VIP dinner. so. we helped with registration la. and then, Paul Lim, the organizer/founder of Supply Chain Asia told us to go and have dinner with the VIPs.

There were about 4-5 round tables i think. and the VIPs were seriously Very Important People. Like almost all of them were Presidents/Founder/Chairman/Senior Managers. and its scared all of us. To be honest, before i left for the trip, i wasn't expecting like Big Shots to be there. but there, they were.

O well. Paul then told us, when we go in to the dining area, to not sit/stick together cos there won't be like 6 empty seats together. so. He said that we should go in, and sit at whatever seat's available. and just mingle with the people there, listen to their conversations, learn, sell yourself, extend your network, and enjoy!.

So when we went in. Kay. i'm tired of typing already. ah-ha. BRB.

I can't believe you called. i can't believe.

and i can't believe you said what you said. All that you said in eight hours of conversation. i can't believe.

i want to believe, but i can't.

and i can't believe myself.

i can't believe you. i can't.

Where was this conversation when i needed it the most?

Where was all this when i wanted to know the most?

i can't.

Maybe. Four years ago if you'd told me, i would've caved.

Maybe. Three years ago if you'd told me, i would be without hesitation.

Maybe. Two years ago if you'd told me, i would have gone back to you.

WHY.

why now? Why after so many years. Why.



i just can't believe.

Weeds

Woah.

*sweeps away dust buddies. and pulls out some weeds.*

So long since i blogged. hee hee.

Tomorrow's my interview!. for now.. i would say about 30% of my nerves are wrecked.

i just heard from TF that there'll be THREE interviewers instead of two. and Plus. Eden and Jeric as observers.

My head may just crack.

today's Quite a good day.

YO-KAY! i'm gonna get back to my research and preperation for tmr's Big interview - Which will last .. 15 mins.

Which means. i'll only be needed in school for........ Fifteen minutes.

what kinda Schooling - Day is that. BUt HECK

HAHAH! FIFTEEN MINUTES - HERE I COME BABY!










oh-kay. back to work.

FINALLY 18!

HwaH.

eighteen. i'm big fat eighteen already.

Actually eighteen's a good age. Because - 17 sounds kiddy. and 19 sounds old. so 18's just right.

(Ch-Loe. if you're reading this. Don't laugh at EIGHTEEN OKAY. i'll laugh at you when you turn eighteen. Anyway, you're still a kid. so ENJOY your privileges as a kid >:P)

Haaaaa. I think once you get older, Birthdays don't seem like a big deal anymore. it just means you're contributing to the ageing population of singapore. ANd. Birthdays are a good excuse to skip Evening classes (like now.) (HEH HEH HEH)

i feel like saying my thankyous.

To:

EeEe and Family - Thank you for being the first to "cut cake" although it was.. impromptu, cos i actually took out the cake so we all could eat without the intention of a birthday song. Haha. But thanks, LOVE YOU!

EeEe - Thank you for loving me! i miss you so much, and i'm sorry if i let you down in the past. i'll try to be a better daughter to do you proud! =)

Papa - i Love you so much, papa. and sometimes when you're not home, i really miss you. =) I FINALLY got my coffee cake. So i shall request for MORE cakes from you. (HEH HEH HEH)

KOR - HAHAH! Thank you for being my brother. we're so alike in so many ways, yet different in many others. i'm sorry for being irritating. i promise i'll irritate you more. =) (HUGS)

Aunty Leng - thank you sooo much for loving papa, and thank you (truly) for your care and concern, and always helping us do the housework. Thank you Thank you Thank you.


Ros - I MISS YOU SO MUCH! (HUGS) You're one of the craziest and smartest people i know. and somehow, i've always believed one day you'll be someone great. (i don't know why). But yes. (Love you!)

Rocky - HAHAH! i knew it was you calling this morning. i'm really sorry, hahhaah. i MiSS YOU SO MUCH! Come back soon okay? If you ever feel like a failure, =) i Believe in you, and Jesus believes in you!

HanChong - =) Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being my fastest problem solver. Thank you. i truly hope you'll find someone. =) i know you will. You're a great guy! - Lots of love, duck legs.


Okay. have to run. meeting manda soon. will continue later.

You know what.

i think about you, but i don't want to. period.

-____-

Somehow. i feel incomplete. something's wrong.

i've bathed 3 times today.

i'm almost done with my tutorial.

i'm done with my Mix-CD.

i'm done with......................

WHAT HAVE I NOT DONE (LA)

ARG. ACK. BLEK.BLOP.CLIM.CHOK.POOONG!

that -(Long pause) - Is gibberish.


WHAT WHAT WHAT.

i think i need to talk to God.

Jesus, All for Jesus!

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of this earth
Will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.

Light a candle for the victims of Child Abuse

www.lightamillioncandles.com

And yet, another post in the same day.

This is my blog, and there aren't any photos of me here, so pple won't know how i look like. So heck, i'm just gonna say whatever.

To my friends (and relatives.) who know me, Crap.


MY UTERUS IS KILLING ME

Whats with all the big horrible cramps. and (ACK! YUCK!) the loss of red bodily fluid.

IT HURTS LIKE POOP.

And guys don't complain okay. If you're gonna say getting kicked in your jingglies hurt more, then my question is, do you get kicked down there repeatedly for a few days?

NO RIGHT.

So don't complain.

If you want to, by all means, get yourself a Uterus. (maybe throw in some fallopian tubes too)




HOWEVER


I thank God for how he created me. Thank you Jesus! Just please please, gimme some supernatural painkillers.
Thank you Jesus.

Thank you Jesus.

Another post in a day.

Recently i met a gentleman, Which is a VERY rare case in the little island of Singapore.

The little things one does, can really tell, you know?

and it was a real pleasure.

Cheers - To the gentleman. =)

Re: the post below.

Strangely,

i can't remember (AT ALL) what the unexpected delight was about.

I have no recollection/memory whatsoever at all.

Thats quite sad. Its always good to remember an unexpected delight yes.

unexpected delight

title says it all, yes?

Truly, unexpected.

Truly, a delight.

MY FIRST

so long since i blogged.




ACK.


I'm gonna do my FIRST TUTORIAL FOR THIS SEMESTER -


Principles of Marketing.


(and its only 3 questions.)

then i guess i'll do my Second tutorial

Logistics & Operations Modelling. Which i think is THE best subject for this sem. Cause its easy to score!

Weeee! then after that. i'll read Comics. (Fruits Basket)

CHLOE:

Thank you, My dear! it's VERY nice. HEHE. i'm at book 7 okay, not that slow. will haunt you for the rest come Friday. Miss you all Very much =) Say Hi to your mum for me. and Kiss Jedd's cheek for me. and Hug Zac for me. and Give Mama a backrub for me. and after all these, Pat yourself on the back for me! HEHEH.


Okay!. gonna get started on my tutorial, tutorials.

Dearest Jesus, i thank you for Your holy presence, Holy spirit i welcome You, come and make yourself at home as i do my tutorials. Wanna Pray for everyone studying for A Levels, and all of us tutorial-doers. I ask for Wisdom so we can all study efficiently, i also ask that you give us good memory, to remember whatever that was taught, as well as to remember everything that we learn right now.

above all, i ask Lord, that my every action will bring glory to Your name. i humbly ask for your Mercy and grace. and i thank you because You will never change. Thank you for being my solid rock.

In Jesus' Most beautiful name, Amen.

a day out in the open. or closed.

you know.

i miss God. i miss feeling close to Him. i miss talking to Him.

and somehow. i don't have that fire in me to want to draw close to Him Although, i want VERy much to draw closer to him. WHY


Blephordioo.



(thats just gibberish)

i'm proud to be....

THE OWNER OF..............

JAMES PATTERSON'S LATEST



- C R O S S -

Timetable's out!

Here goes:

Monday - 9am to 4pm
Tuesday - 9am to 11 am (HAHA)
Wednesday - 11am to 1pm (HAHAHA)
Thursday - 9am to 7pm (My goodness.)
Friday - 9am to 12pm (YAY)

SIGH. and a BIGGER SIGH.

should i change my Elective to Calculus? instead of Marketing.

Because if all my other subjects are Qualitative. its really gonna kill.

Moreover, i got A for Management Science which is a Quantitative subject.

And i'm extremely tempted to Switch to Calculus. (Calculus is ALMOST like Amath.)

And i didn't do well at all for my Amaths.

And if i take Calculus, i'll have one less project to do. cos most probly there'll be a project for Mkting.

O well.

i'm gonna see our Course manager with Gek on Monday.. Clear all my doubts first, then see how.


Jesus, Guide me. For your word says, You are the Lamp unto my feet, Light unto my path.

So Lead me, show me Your Way.

its been four years.

Tomorrow's Mummy's 4th death anniversary. and i still thank God for bringing her to Heaven where she's Young and healthy and Happier than ever! =)

i went down to her... tomb?
.ney. urm.. ashes? but they're in a jar, behind a marble slab.

Well anyway. its supposed to be tomorrow, but papa's got work tmr. so we went today.

It was.. hmm.. i don't know.

i just miss mummy so much. everyone needs a mummy, although at times you may think you don't want one. but at some point, you know you Need one. and i miss my mummy.

and then at the place where her ashes were, i was walking around and i saw another "Person".

the marble slabs are about the size of a big bible. so usually there'll be the person's Picture, a bible verse, a cross (all Christians. its at All Saints Home.), and the Birthdate, and date of departure, and a little bit of family tree info.

so this other "Marble slab" i saw, was really simple. No Picture or anything. just a cross, a date - 30th Dec 1995, and a name - Joshua Tay something something, and " we will always love you".

there were many other stuff hanging around. (because this isn't government's territory, hence we have much more freedom and space. so pple like grow flowers there, and hang cards, and make little shelves and put mimature stuff. Really pleasant. Reminds me of Heaven.) lets see some of the pictures of (plastic) Flowers:

There was a Card, which i didn't read until later. then there were some.. um.. display suff. so i was pretty intrigued because there was so little information on the marble slab. so i read the card which was dated 2005. (sorry.)

it was written by all the members of the family, mummy, daddy, and daniel.

and they all said "Happy 10th Birthday!" and it struck me that Joshua probably died not long after he was born or maybe, he was a stillbirth.

and. it just left me so sad. and i know how great the impact is when one loses a family member.

its just sad.

the Daddy wrote (in the card) - about how losing Joshua had brought so much more into his life. That Heaven had never been closer in his past 31 years than when Joshua left the family.
and the mummy wrote - that she missed him so much. she still cries when she thinks about him. but she's happy that he's in Heaven with Jesus. and she can't wait to see him again.
Daniel wrote - that sometimes he wished Joshua was with them. and. how he longed for a brother. and he was speechless. (sad).

well. i know that God has great plans for this family. because God had, and still has Great plans for my family after mummy went home. so i thank God, that He is in control of everything. Even when the whole world seems dark and it feels as if one's walking on a tightrope, God is in Control. He might let you fall, but he'll catch you.


Because, God will never let me (and you) go. i know that for sure.

and thats all i'm living for.

Can You Believe?

i'm so secure
You're Here with me

You Stay the same
Your Love remains
Here in My heart

S o close, i believe
You're holding me now
In Your hands, i belong
You'll never let me go

HAHA

i was so happy i -

smiled to myself.

chuckled to myself.

smiled to myself more.

laughed to myself.

laughed to myself in the bath.

Jumped up and down while in the bath.

laughed and jumped up and down in the bath.



Yes. i was that happy. =)